Today is our 27th year anniversary. I hope i can get thru it without alot of triggers.
Sometime life just isn't fair, is it? I still wonder why i have to go thru this, and why i seem to be the one that has to try the hardest for what he did! I wish he would feel what i feel but that can't happen.So we try to deal the best we can, and believe me it is still very hard after 19 months since D-Day.
I am starting to wonder if things will ever get easier
But again Thanks to you guys for being here!!

>>Sometime life just isn't fair, is it?<<

No. As the parent of a college student, I can't imagine what those parents of Virginia Tech students must be going through.


>>I still wonder why i have to go thru this<<

There are people in the world who wonder "why me?" and people in the world who wonder "ok, what do I do now?" Sometimes the former become the latter. Sometimes not.


>>and why i seem to be the one that has to try the hardest for what he did!<<

You don't "have to" try hardest. You don't have to stay married, but you choose to. If you honestly believe that is a positive choice, then it becomes something other than a "have to". It becomes a "want to", a "need to".


>> I wish he would feel what i feel but that can't happen.<<

It could happen; you choose not to make it happen. Which is probably a good thing.


>>So we try to deal the best we can, and believe me it is still very hard after 19 months since D-Day.<<

"Deal the best we can" was hard for me for almost five years, right up to the day we separated.


>>I am starting to wonder if things will ever get easier<<

Things got easier for me after I accepted that I would never be able to make that marriage work.

Chris.