Dearest friends.....my dad passed away this morning. He collapsed while getting dressed and died on the spot. They are still trying to determine what happened. He was almost done the round of chemo he was taking and seemed to be doing great.
I guess nobody really knows when its your turn.
I'm a mess, but i've went through the steps of grief before.....thanks to my friends here. I'm trying to hang in the best I can.
Please pray for my family and pray for my sister's safe arrival back home through the snowstorm she is driving through.
Kid,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I too lost my father suddenly. Please know that I am thinking of you. Take care of yourself- accept the offers of assistance from your friends and family.
I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. I lost my father 8 weeks ago. There are no words for me to say to you except that the emotions are up and down. Allow yourself to laugh and cry all at once.
You and your family are in my prayers
God Bless
Linda
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your father. I lost my Father at this time of year and I know how you must feel. Please take care of yourself and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
You and your family are in Sunshine and my prayers. I know you have went through the steps of grief before, but lean on us if you need to. Anyone here on the boards that has lost a parent knows a lot of what you are going through.
For me, loosing my father was at the time easy in comparison to what my brothers and sisters felt. I had my quad bypass on December 6, 2006, came home on the 13th, my father had a massive stroke on the 16th, and we lost him the 23rd, just before Christmas. It is hard anytime, but somehow it seems worse around the holidays.
I was on oxygen during the funeral, and my mother immediately relied on me to help with the estate and all that was involved with it. I didn't have time to grieve him until almost a year later, I went into a depression, pulled away from my wife, and then discovered the affair 7 months later.
I guess what I am trying to say is LEAN on us here on the boards for whatever you need...anything we can help with, whether it be just listening or chatting. Don't hold it in like I did, don't postpone dealing with the grief.
Kid, from the first time I chatted with you, I recognized a inner stength and beauty in you, the way you expressed yourself, and the way you so openly and honestly shared and still do. Those and all of your good qualities are a testament to your parents love...
Please know that my cyber shoulder is yours...I wish it could be more.
Take the time that you need to be with your family and heal through this time of loss. I am sorry for your pain and I hope the time you spend with your family will be a time of healing. There were many blessings that came with my mother's death and I hope you are blessed with some surprises as I was.
I've been away from the boards and just saw this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know words right now can't begin to ease the pain. But please know we're here for you.
My heartfelt condolences to you. Although your closeness to your father may make your loss harder to bare, it also I'm sure has provided you with many wonderful memories to call upon and sustain you now and in the future. You are in my prayers.
I'm just sort of numb right now. I think I just found out exactly what the plain of lethal flatness is all about.
I'm eerily calm, as is my mom. The nieces are here and that is the shining star for my mom.
The first night after my dad died I was laying here alone starring up into the sky and the stars were so bright. There was one in particular that seemed to be shining down on me and glowing so brightly. That star was a sign. Every night since then the stars have been shining, no clouds. My mom told me today that she has also been watching the stars and believes he is watching over us and comforting us.
He is in a better place, with no illness probably chasing after that big fish that got away or that buck with the most points.
He died happy and he died quickly doing everything he still loved to do. That provides me alot of comfort. He didn't die of cancer and suffer, he had a massive heart attack and died instantly. If he could chose that would be his choice.
Yesterday we went and planned the arrangements. Today we went to order flowers and meet with the Pastor. I found the visit to church very comforting. I think I will start spending more time there.
Yesterday I went for lunch with my cousin, who I haven't spent time with in years but we were very close growing up. Today my coworkers and friends took me to lunch, brought me flowers, homebaked goodies and chocolate. Everybody is so loving and supportive.
Funny....this just highlights for me the difference between losing somebody because of an affair and losing somebody because of death. It is SOOOO true that when somebody dies you have so much support, but when a spouse leaves you have not nearly enough. People are coming out of the woodwork that I haven't seen in 10-15 years. It's an amazing thing.
The kicker.....the funeral is scheduled on DDAY!!! Short of telling my mother the whole sordid story there was no way around it. Ironic how life comes full circle
"The first night after my dad died I was laying here alone starring up into the sky and the stars were so bright. There was one in particular that seemed to be shining down on me and glowing so brightly. That star was a sign."
Kid, remember that death does not have to be the end of a relationship..... Remember that you still have his love in your heart.
After my dad died, I also had a few instances, spread out over about a year, where he made his presence known. And I wasn't the only one who witnessed one of them. There is so much more to life than what we can see or prove.
I am happy that you have the love and support of family and friends. That means everything.
Kid,
I'm so happy to hear about the tremendous support you've been given. I think our society is better at dealing with death, partly because it happens to us all. I'm glad you've been able to reconnect with relatives and friends.
Jean,
I too had some interesting experiences in the year or so after my dad died that were both strange and comforting. I've always been fascinated with such things.
My aunt's funeral was also on D-day. She was like a mom and grandmother to me. In a strange way it was like - through that odd timing - she took the chaos of D-day memories away and replaced it with something much more profound and sacred.
I imagine this will change your D-day from now on. I hope it connects you to that star.
RW
This message has been edited by Red--Wolf on Dec 8, 2007 6:18 AM
"In a strange way it was like - through that odd timing - she took the chaos of D-day memories away and replaced it with something much more profound and sacred."
Funny RW, I was thinking the exact same thing when I read what Kid wrote.
