Someone please help me. I have been married for 11 years and having an affair for 4 years. My affair partner recentley got into trouble with his wife and claims to need "help" with his problem. He has said he can never see me again and although he still loves me he just can't have me. (although he could for 4 years). It sounds razy but I feel so lost without him. My husband knows some of this also and is crushed. I love him and our 2 small kids as well. Someone please help!!
Affairs are a fantasy, even though to those involved they feel real.
Your affair was hurting many people. It sounds like his wife found out and demanded no contact. That's the first thing a betrayed spouse will demand and if the marriage has any hope of surviving he won't ever contact you again.
I'm sorry you are hurting over this, but many others are hurting because of your actions also. Nobody wins in an affair.
The best thing you can do is leave this person alone and let them work on their marriage and get some individual counselling for you to find out what caused you to seek attention from a married man who could only ever give you bits and pieces and could never offer you anything real.
I would underline what Kid wrote above: "no contact" is the first thing a betrayed spouse will insist on once an affair is discovered (if the BS wants to reconcile). You owe it to them to leave the man alone.
More importantly, what is going on with YOUR husband? You've said he knows some of it...what are you going to tell him, and when?
