It has been 9 months and I am still having such a hard time. His affair went on for 6 years, physical until she moved away. They kept in contact my computer. How long does it take for tha pain to go away. He is trying so hard to make up for it but it just cannot be done. The betrayal is so strong. Now everything makes sense. (all those times i fought with him about the computer) I don't know if i can stay with the pain.

So sorry to hear this.

Maybe read/write on the 'How Long?' thread.

ok, you're not gonna like this answer: 9 months is MINIMAL in terms of time for recovery from the feelings of betrayal, especially for a long term affair like your husband's. Although I have read of short term affairs/one-night stands being just as devastating. (my hubby's affair lasted 13 years off-and-on) What are you doing to try to "deal" with it? Are you reading books, going to counseling, etc?