Or the other way around. I'm curious what you all think about this. How many years difference is too much of a difference?
Why does society look down on older woman, younger man but not older man, younger woman?
I mean there is an ugly 6 letter word for women who go for younger men but the word sugar daddy really just refers to an older man who is quite wealthy and he's with a younger women taking care of her financially.
Would it make a difference if the two knew each other for years before and established a friendship first?
Would it make a difference if one had children and the other didn't?
Would there be more probability of an Affair for the younger person later on?
If it's consenting single adults I suppose any age difference or history considerations are up to the two people. They will no doubt encounter judgment from friends, family and society in general. They don't have to allow that to rule their decisions.
For me personally I'd rather stick to cougars dating sugar daddies. Or sugar cougars dating milk duds...I mean dudes.
Some segments of society still hold men and women to different standards. But those standards are slowly changing. But 'you' are a part of society and you can decide what is right for you within the bounds of respecting others.
The question I have is, what do you want? If you meet someone that is younger than you (say 10-15yrs.) and you get along "go for it" I say. It all depends what you want in the long run. Do you want to go golfing or do you have long range plans for marriage?
I used to get hit on by 25-35 yr. olds. I would have no problem picking up golf hints from them. Ha Ha.
I travel and go out with my sons all the time. You should see the looks, we get- especially if our arms are locked.
As far as the cheating thing goes, like Kats said, age is no factor when it comes to cheating.
Always check the expiration date. Integrity comes in all sizes, and ages.
I keep getting hit on by an older woman at a couple of my summer craft shows. It's been going on for a couple of years. I've done nothing to encourage her as I'm otherwise taken. And, you guys know that I'm over 48 years old. If I was single, I think I'd consider it. But I just wouldn't know what to do with her walker on the golf course. I'm not carring her clubs for her, ya know?
"Do you want to go golfing or do you have long range plans for marriage? "
GOLFING...hmm is that what they call it these days. It's been so long I haven't paid much attention.
"Always check the expiration date. Integrity comes in all sizes, and ages. "
Yes, lots of great things come in all sizes and ages :P
Charlie I think as long as the level of maturity is there for both individuals, the values are the same and they share common interests, then I don't see the problem.
Where I do see a problem is the 19 years olds that hit on me. I think once you get past a certain age, it becomes just another number. Obviously we wouldn't want to see a 25 year old guy (or girl) dating a 15 year old, but is a 40 year old is dating a 30 year old, then I think that's fine.
I'm perfectly okay with about 5-7 years above my age and 10 below, but I do know a great guy who is 47 and very attractive, charismatic and in excellent shape. He is hotter than most 20 year olds.
I guess you're right when it comes to cheating, it seems to be a values thing but sometimes that isn't always easy to tell. I did have some signs according to some article I found recently (it said I couldn't reprint without permission so I didn't) but it said that anyone that has a sense of entitlement could possibly cheat. I had an example of that early on in my marriage. My ex and I bought our first house and he told his parents that if they helped him, he thought that he shouldn't pay the money back because they paid for his sister's entire education and didn't have to pay for his. I didn't feel good about it and wanted to pay them back eventually but my ex insisted to not do that. I wish I had known some signs back then...
Charlie
This message has been edited by charlie288 on Jan 15, 2009 9:30 AM
Charlie, there are lots more practical worries with a significant age difference.
A former colleague is just 40 and had her first child with a man who already had kids 24, 17, and 4. Like one of my brothers-in-law, he'll be pushing 60 with kids in college. So they obviously settled the "I have kids and you don't" issue one way...but I doubt if she would have married him if he hadn't wanted at least one more.
Someone almost 40 with two kids already would face that question in reverse.
Then there is stage of life and life experience. Career-wise, someone just starting over in a new field may have a lot in common with a younger professional. But someone who has been through a long marriage, starting a family, infidelity, and divorce has a completely different set of life experiences, views, and life skills than a "kid" who hasn't experienced any of that.
Back a couple of years, I thought quite a bit about this. I basically ruled out anyone much younger than me and anyone inexperienced with marriage or children.
Going running with this younger man tomorrow...HA! We went last week too. No, actually I am happy to have him as even just a friend, he is an incredibly nice person. I saw him in an opera last week (it was funny), he's a church going man and what a wonderful person. I went to his church last week and when I heard him sing next to me, I about fell out of my seat and stopped signing myself. I've known him a few years in my neighborhood. And for those of you (H2!!) who think he is a wimp b/c he sings in an opera, he has a very manly job too.
Charlie
This message has been edited by charlie288 on Dec 2, 2008 12:12 AM
Chuck, as usual, you under estimate me (or maybe its over estimate me). Any way where do you think I got my initial stage presence? It wasn't from Joe Bob Leroy. I know that it is a far stretch to go from opera to Joe Bob. LOL I would never assume because the guy has a singing voice that he is a wimp. I know about the training that must be behind that voice. He and I may be wimps of a kindred spirit, you never know.
Glad you found someone to run with. Try to keep up and stay out of trouble.
How many more years of experience do you possess than he?
Minor memories.
My X was 11 yrs older. I always felt that the gap was just a little too big. He must have felt that way too. He also did not prefer thin women. As the chaos increased in our marriage, my weight went down. So the affair partner he chose, and is currently hanging out with, is a few years older than me and chubblier. He complimented her on what big strong shoulders she has. I'm more quiet and she is very loud, brash, and swears a lot.
She did a lot of talking to him on my home phone. She'd leave her mark on the caller ID too. Dumb.
Note: Do NOT talk to affair partner on their spouse's home phone.
This message has been edited by Red--Wolf on Dec 3, 2008 11:23 AM
You all are too funny and I'm not tellin ha ha!!!!!!!!!!
Um, I mean like HOT looking, sweaty hot, hot body, sweet, innocent and just plain old good HOT. Ya know, all my friends in the neighborhood thinks he's pretty unbelievable. I'm just enjoying spending time with him, I'm not really dumb enough to think we could have a future. He wants to go to France (he speaks French) for a tour with his job so I couldn't possibly b/c my special needs son needs a signing class and doubt that would be available in English and in France.
An older woman in my neighborhood was in the hospital a while back and you know what he did? He went to the hospital with his guitar and sang songs to her. How's that for nice???
"I'm more quiet and she is very loud, brash, and swears a lot."
Interesting RW, my ex's wife is a little brash and swears a lot too but I have to admit, I'm not exactly a quiet person myself
Charlie
This message has been edited by charlie288 on Dec 3, 2008 10:31 PM This message has been edited by charlie288 on Dec 3, 2008 10:27 PM
Well Charlie, there's loud and then there's LOUD. Just like there's dumb, and then there's d u m b e r.
Prior to our divorce, she'd invite him over by way of my phone, in that uber romantic voice saying, "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" I guess it goes with the big strong shoulders.
"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE" has always motivated me. If it were "GET YOUR F---EN ASS OVER HERE" I'd be spell bound.
Ok, so far we got "Hot" after he runs 4 miles, he speaks French, he's nice, he sings to people in hospitals, plays the geetar. Oh yeah, and he is lesser experienced than Chuck. Anything else?
Called me last night to run but I couldn't - DARN!!!
He's like the perfect man and I'll bet you all didn't know there was one, huh?
Too bad it's so totally unrealistic!!! But I can look...and run...right?
I taught a bunch of 2nd graders today and had a big headache!!!
Just remember not to put all your eggs in one basket. Date several guys at once, give it time and decide who you like the best. And date them all over the country. That's my 2 cents.
I know why this guy is never dating anyone...he can COOK too. I think every woman on the planet is intimidated by him, that's what I think!!! I'm not saying that being able to cook well entails any great skill set, I think it's just that we either know we can do it or not, but I haven't met too many men who will do much cooking besides what's done on the grill (not that this is a bad thing).
After church yesterday, he invited the boys and I over for dinner and he is a good cook too - even had spiced apple cider for after dinner. I also found out he plays the piano too. I don't think any woman would be able to keep up with him. This explains why he says he doesn't have women knocking down his door...
I think so Chris. A few years ago, he told me about this gal he met in church and how they had gone out a few times but it ended soon after. When I asked recently about her, he told me that she was very self absorbed and that is why they didn't go out again. He also dated some gal for a year and they talked about marriage but he said it wasn't right for him.
Charlie
Current Topic - Older woman, younger man - more affairs?
