My story... Four days after my anniversary in 2002, I came home from work and my husband's car was wrecked, window broken out, and a flat tire. I went in and woke him up (he worked 3rd shift at the time) - he said he'd been driving in the country and had slowed to miss a dog when the car behind him hit him. The other poor sap didn't have insurance so he let the guy go, being the nice fellow that my husband is. Something didn't sit right in my gut, the story was so stupid... but you have to believe or go nuts.
Two weeks later, this strange man calls my H. H takes the phone and goes outside. I had the FIERY feeling inside and knew something was terribly wrong when he came back in. He said this "psycho" at work was convinced that since he talked to his wife that he must be sleeping with her. After an hour or so of prodding, I found out that he had been doing exactly that. The car wreck was thanks to her husband, who had caught them in bed together and chased him down. He told my H that day that he had 2 weeks to tell me or he would... and H hadn't.
We decided that night we'd try and work it out. The next 5 months were on again off again with his OW. He denied it the whole time and always said he wanted our marriage to work out. Finally in 08/02 I kicked him out. He had a big epiphany 2 weeks later and begged to come home. He quit his job working with the OW and found a new job, re-committed to me and our marriage and promised to live the rest of his life making things right between us. Things were going great for about the next 2 years.
August 2002, I had THAT feeling again. He was sullen, moody, and just generally a crab. September 2004, We went on a dream vacation and he spent the last 2 days being unbearably detached and grouchy. I knew. After some note comparing with his co-worker's wife, I found he'd been leaving our house 30 minutes early and getting home 30 minutes late every day.
I confronted him 10/05/04 and found he'd looked up a skank from his past. He'd been calling her every day at least 2 times a day using calling cards. He was miserably unhappy. I told him we should separate. He moved out that day and hasn't spent one night in this house since. He moved all of his things out over the course of the next 2 weeks.
Present: 01/05 he still denies that she is his girlfriend, even though he admits to kissing her, loving her, and holding hands. Of course, they don't sleep together!
He takes zero responsibility for his actions and will find a way to blame everything on me, if given the chance. After dragging his feet with the divorce, I told him he had two weeks to do SOMETHING, move TOWARDS a divorce or I would file adultery and drag his new OW into court. He's seen a lawyer since then. He actually said, "Well, some days you want a divorce and some you don't! I didn't want to rush you." HEEEYUGE lie. I hadn't said I did NOT want a divorce since 2 weeks after he'd been gone. I've been begging him to do SOMETHING and let me have closure and move on... just like he had already done.
I am SO much better now, just 3 months since he left, than I was for years. I know who I am again! I know what makes me happy and how great it is to be able to say what's on my mind. I let him go with a feeling of peace: it's just a matter of time before he makes someone else's life miserable. The Karma bus will be by for him aaaaaaaaany day now.
Monica
This is your life. Are you who you want to be? ~ Switchfoot
