I've been with a guy for 5 years. The first year we were together, I thought I'd found my 'soulmate.' He was so 'real' and down to earth, and we were so much alike it was scary. He moved in with me, and things were going great. 10 months later, I discovered him e-mailing girls on personal ads on the internet. I was crushed! I confronted him, and he first tried to lie, but I showed him printed copies of his emotional cheating, which is what I label this. He claimed he meant nothing by it; was just 'messing around' and didn't plan to meet any of these four girls. I believed him; sort of. After that, I was suspicious constantly. I began playing super spy - checking temporary internet files every night after work before he would get home. Things would go along fine for awhile, but sure enough, some little thing would always crop up that would refresh my suspicions. This past spring, I again had a hint of suspicion and checked his cell phone bill. I found that, while I was at work making the money we lived on, he was calling two single women in the local area. He lied about why he was calling them. I knew they were lies, but he refused to change his story (i.e. tell the truth). Every so often I would bring this up, asking him to please tell me the truth so we could work out the problem. Nothing. Finally, this last August, I'd had enough. I began to make plans to ask him to leave. He had unfinished work (he was self employed at the time) at my house, and I was waiting for some of that to be resolved. I was getting ready to tell him we were through when he received an unsettling phone call about a family member in another state with a request to come home for a visit. I didn't want to ruin his trip, so kept things to myself. After he returned, I told him he had to go. He was devasted and THEN finally told me the truth. He had been seeing one of these women, and he admitted to kissing her (though I'm not sure there wasn't more), but had since ended it. I've never seen a man bare his soul like he did, claiming he was stupid, was never going to hurt me again, "we could have something so beautiful," etc. etc. I made him go anyway. It's been about a month and a half, and now I'm second guessing myself. He's recently come on to some rather hard times having lost his living situation AND his job. I'm thinking about asking him to come back. Am I just feeling sorry for him? Am I just lonely and wanting my companion back? He was so good in so many ways, but when he was over the other night, I just didn't feel the way I should feel about a man I'm supposed to be building a life with. Should I give it a try, work on the relationship, and see if my feelings change back to what they should be? I feel so stupid here.