How do you start somthing like this? I've been with my wife for almost ten years and she's always been my hero. We both came into this relationship with baggage. She had a drug problem as a teenager that she beat. I have PTSD from fighting in Iraq. She saved me from an abusive relationship in which my ex hit me and ultimately stabbed me, putting me in the hospital. We've been through a lot of tough years dealing with my issues and she's been there for me every step of the way.
One day a few years after our son was born, she was told me she understands my problems, but needs me to depend less on her. I got more counseling and reminded myself every day how important she is to me. We were doing pretty well, kind of a roller coaster, but making definite progress. Now, nearly ten years later, she tells me I'm not giving her enough independence. We have season tickets to an NBA basketball team and had made a date for a certain game. She told me a couple of nights before that she had training in that city and wanted to ask her sister to come up and stay the night so they could talk. Well, I got a bit put off, so I said Hey, we had a date and it progressed from there into quite an argument. Long story short, we made up and I said I understand and will work on giving her more indepedence. She called me from the city and said how much she loved me and would talk to me later. The next day, she said she would come home and we'd go out somewhere for a date. While I was shopping to make dinner, she called and said she's not coming home and she wants a divorce.
She's been in and out of our house for a week now, Friday at work I finally got hold of her. She was still intoxicated from the night before and told me that for six months she's been going to bars and picking up men for sex. She feels like she's lost her 20's (is 29 now) and wants to party and now that she's older she's attractive and making a game of it. She does this to make her feel like she has more control over her life. All of the times she's said she was going out with her sister this was the case I guess.
My wife has been with 20-30 men in the last six months and I'm sitting here at home with our son who has no idea what's going on. Her parents won't talk to me because they think I hurt her somehow-she hasn't told them. I don't have any friends to talk to because as it turns out she slept with my only friend. All I can think about right now is how to get her back here and save our family. I can't imagine being with anybody else, but I'm really hurting and messed up. She won't answer her phone. Her family treats me like I'm a jerk and the only adult I can talk to is my father who's in his 70's, so I don't want to hurt him. My friend at work says to let her go...I cant. What do I do?
This message has been edited by Thomas55 on Mar 4, 2006 7:24 PM This message has been edited by Thomas55 on Mar 4, 2006 7:23 PM