New to thisMarch 31 2006 at 3:57 PM
|Lore (Login Lorebeth)|
I just copied my story off of the discovery site because I wanted my story here as well.
I've just recently found out that my husband has been unfaithful. He told me in December that he had had a flirtatious affair with his secretary for a few weeks in the spring of '04 that only resulted in a kiss. I had always had a red flag about her. They drove to another city one day for an insurance meeting and someone else was suppose to go with them, but got sick and couldn't go. I told him that morning that I didn't think it was appropriate, but he said there was no way that anything would happen, that she was a Christian woman. Well she unloaded on him all the way down and all the way up about how bad her marriage was and when he dropped her off at the office, she leaned over and kissed him. He was flattered by it and the emotional affair lasted until he got busy with longer hours. I felt like I wasn't getting the whole story and kept pressing him. The end of January he admitted that, although this one had gone no further, he had had sexual encounters with women in '97 & '98. The first one was with an acquaintance while we were at our son's basketball tournament. Some of the couples met in the hotel lounge after the games. I went up to be with our children. They got drunk and this woman asked my husband to walk her to her room. She opened the door and pulled him in. He said it was over in minutes and he hated himself. I was asleep when he came in. The second time was a woman he'd hired to work at a convenience store. He'd go in there from time to time, they started flirting and he asked her to go for a drive. They had a couple of beers and had sex. That happened twice. The crazy part of all this is that I got a call in the middle of the night during this time from someone telling me my husband was sleeping with someone. He completely convinced me it was a prank. I naively believed him. I have been devastated by this. I feel like the last half of our marriage has been a lie. (We've been married 18 years) We have always had a great sex life and I believed I could trust him implicitly. He told me that it was impulsive and stupid, a "game" that got out of hand. Some game. I never knew I could ache so deeply. He has been broken over it, said he didn't tell me because he thought I would walk and he didn't want to lose me. He's a different man in many ways than he was back then, much less self-absorbed and more considerate. He swears it would never happen again, that he's always only loved me and wants to spend the rest of his life making it up to me. But my trust in him has been shattered. I get "pictures" in my head that make me nauseous. Some days I can't get enough of him, some days I don't want him near me. The emotional roller coaster is awful. My heart feels like it's been harpooned. Where do I go from here? We're in a new big city and know no one
New to this
|May 31 2006, 2:08 PM |
Wow! this must be really painful for you. I would have a mental breakdown if I was in a new city with no friends shoulders to cry on. I'm pretty new to this site, but it seems to help me sort out my feelings. Everyone has been great and it is a huge relief to talk to others who can truely understand what you're feeling. So, it went no further than a kiss? Do you beleive him? If he really is a better husband to you now, maybe he did learn a thing or two along the way. It seems like he needs the valadation that he is still attractive to other woman. Have you two gone to C? Maybe that would be helpful.
|This message has been edited by startover35 on Jun 2, 2006 1:00 PM|