We've been considering making a change to the forum.
The change is to make two boards (Deeper & Fun) read only, and moving their prominence from the main menu to an archive area.
The reason for this change is driven by a general lack of traffic on those boards, indicating that any need for them can be served by the other existing boards.
A little background:
Deeper was created when The Healing Heart was first set up as Arrow In The Heart was being deleted. Since the preceding forum had two boards, one for newly betrayed, one for those who's betrayal was somewhat in the past, our members wanted to keep that same format. The original reasoning for having two boards was due to several factors that came together. Firstly, Arrow In The Heart started with one board, mostly comprised of people who had been posting on boards at "DearPeggy.com". After about 18 months, there was an influx of newly betrayed people joining Arrow In The Heart. This influx of new members, which resulted in the sharing of many stories of fresh betrayal, was creating difficulties for several long term members, trigging them to re-experience their initial betrayal. It became apparent that a different kind of "safe place" was needed so that older members could post without experiencing these triggers.
The two important factors were the relatively heavy use of Arrow In The Heart in the first place, plus the influx of new members to that board. These are not our conditions today. Today most of our "older" members post on Open. Healing is still and introductory place, but most of the time people migrate to Open rather than Deeper.
If the need for Deeper returns, we can always reverse these changes.
Healing Fun was created in response to a request that there be a place for fun threads that was not part of one of the recovery forums. Prior to that fun threads were posted on the recovery forums. However, the unintended consequence of Healing Fun has been much fewer fun threads. I believe that is unfortunate, because fun threads help to create a more relaxed atmosphere and improve the relationships between board members. Our moderators have discussed this and I believe everyone agrees that fun threads on the recovery forums are appropriate if desired.
Here again, the board will move to an archive area, still accessable on a "Read Only" basis. It can be restored to it's present form it needed.
Feel free to offer your opinions related to these two changes. We believe that it will create a better forum and we'd like to hear your input.
TomJ
This message has been edited by tomj76 on Feb 21, 2008 2:59 PM
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I guess in my mind it doesn't hurt to have Deeper unless it is costing more to have that with less traffic. It provides another option. And I have always said that if my H ever decided to post on HH that I would post exclusively on Deeper so that he could post on Open without feeling our posts were "competing" - for lack of a better term. The Healing board is intense and I still find it hard to go there very often.
As far as Healing Fun. I would hate to see that stuff integrated with Open again. I think it sort of ruins the integrity of the seriousness of A topics, especially if you are going to delete Deeper.
At the end of the day, dear Tom, this is your playground and you get to make the rules...so whatever you decide I will support. But since you asked, that's my honest opinion.
Blessings
Jane
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Thanks for your inputs. You've reminded me that I didn't mention one of the reasons for doing this, which is that focusing our traffic in few places should help create a more lively forum. When posts are spread out over too many boards, there is less posting all together. I've observed this by studing our posting statistics over the years.
I'm glad that you shared your concerns. One of the reasons we've chosen this particular approach is that it IS reversable if conditions change. As it is, there are so few posts on Deeper that there is very little momentum in the conversation there. Few posts lead to fewer people reading, which in turn leads to fewer posts... you see the cycle.
Disabling those two boards will let people focus their attention in fewer places that already have traffic. In theory this will create more interest in all the threads that are started.
We value the ideas and opinions of everyone here. We try to run HH in a manner that values everyone's contribution, as well as protects it from the designs of a vocal minority.
TomJ
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I didn't think it would be a big deal at all, but now on Open there's a funny joke thread right above one about suicide.....it seems really bizarre, to be honest.
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Sun,
Sorry that was me. that bumped the joke up.. I thought that having a joke on open would be a way for the newer members to see that it isn't so bad to see a joke.... tame and cute.. wasn't thinking about DH's post which was serious.
I really enjoyed reading the cute jokes that people posted on open...or the funny stories..
Pat
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>now on Open there's a funny joke thread right above one about suicide.....it seems really bizarre, to be honest.
Good point. For me personally, the mixing of threads like this was never an issue before Healing Fun was created, even during the earlier times in my recovery. It could be more of an issue for others. The only objection I've personal felt about those threads is when the playful banter leaves people feeling excluded, or that our group seems 'closed' to people.
TomJ
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Don't worry about it, Pat. I didn't think it would affect me at all when I first read this thread, but then when I saw it right above a post about suicide it struck me in a way I didn't expect.
I remember reading funny jokes on Open in the past and it never bothered me. I enjoyed the chuckle. I think it just was the timing with DH's post being there that made it seem a little weird. Am I making any sense?
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I am one of the few who post more or less on a regular basis on Deeper. I do it for several reasons. One, there are times where I think my vent posts may hurt one of our wonderful FWS's on Open, and two, or scare the heck out of those on Healing. For me, it seemed at times Deeper was the proper and more politically correct place to post. BUT as Tom has mentioned, I get a lot less responses when I post on Deeper. I like the way things are set up now, but I understand the need to streamline things. Do what you feel is right, it will not stop me from posting, lol.
~ CAL
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha
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I've been thinking about this and have had trouble forming a concrete opinion, I guess, or just stating it clearly.
For myself, I don't think it'd be an issue to have the changes to the board because I'm far enough along in the process. I used "Deeper" to post sort of in a stepping stone kind of way - when I didn't feel ready yet for Open, but was past the raw pain that "Healing" focuses on. At this stage of the game, I'm comfortable bouncing from one zone to another. But I've certainly seen some confusion about "Deeper" by people new to the site and my big concern for them has been that, when one first arrives here, one looks expectantly for validation, acknowledgment, support. Since most of us tend to bounce between Healing and Open, I harbor concerns that we haven't attended to new people as well as we could have when they start out at Deeper, as compared to when they start out in Healing.
The Healing Fun zone always made sense to me to have separated out, because it is kind of jolting (especially if one is new to the world of infidelity recovery) to see humor mixed in with trauma. I think it can be beneficial to laugh as we're healing, but I do remember being a rookie and going through archived stuff when there was more humor directly on the other zones, and it made the boards feel less like something I could be a part of because at that stage, the last thing I was up for was seeing the humor around me.
So, again, for me at my current place in recovery, I'm flexible and can adapt to whatever changes the moderators wisely see to make. My bigger concern is for those fresh off the boat, so to speak. They are already in a disoriented state, and I'd hope that they wouldn't think us cavalier having jokes amidst the more difficult topics. I'd say it'd be no biggie to have humor as part of Open, except it seems like there's been a recent upturn in new WS's that have shown up, and I wonder what it would be like for them to see humor at their more green or raw entry to the site.
That's my two cents! BlueIris
"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."
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