thx, nice with flaws

Thanks for sharing this story. Parts of it were quite erotic but the whole set up was way to unrealistic. Why did Thuy have the passports? Why was there no ambassy? Why are the main characters so naive? To just name the worst. So it's always better especially in such cases to not claim that this has really happened. Just claim for what it is: A hot erotic story. Would have liked to hear in more detail about the things you left out and also don't take too much ahead, stick to the chronological order and give surprise moments. Let your characters be more emotional - sometimes here it was just a listing of what happened and sounded like a shopping list and you just wanted to be quickly over with it. Take your time when writing down your ideas and imagine them in your head, then describe in greater detail. I liked that for once a writer (you) didn't exaggerate the cock size. That was a nice touch. Storys with 11 inch hung horses are starting to annoy me - nobody will ever get 11 inches fully inside an ordinary woman (since the average vagina of (caucasian/white) women is just betwenn 7-8 inches deep) and if he also is fat it will hurt her like hell! (just this on a side note). Hope you'll give it another try!
Take Care,
Ogre