Utor munk. Utor twenny-un. Utor to tiny. Utor wont be big. Utor go Hell. Try 'n smash uglies.
Utor go in crack. Find jujumen in red robs un sukubussss. Utor kill jujuman. Den see stairs. Utor tiny 'n no like strung juju. Mebbe dere no juju down steps. Utor go down stairs.
Utor find shinee gold snaeks. Utor slice dem in half with Utor Scythe. *SLASHYSLASH* Utor reep snaekys like wheet. Reep reep reep. Den Utor find big wingy blu voortexies. Dem ful of hot air. Hot like dat day when Utor had to push de weel all day. Utor hate stoopid weel. Utor hate hot. Utor reep voortexies. Den Utor fel stung 'nuff to taek dis place. Utor keep reeping voortexies 'n snaeks. Reep reep reep. Utor need go town. Utor go town. Den comed back an' meeted Fangskin.
BIG mob! Utor run! Flippy flops go *clopclopclopclopclop*, but snaeks def an' not heer flippy flops cus dey not falo'ed Utor. Utor creep bak an' finded one by hisself. Utor reeped him, den creeped an' finded foow moor. Reeped dem, to. Den find Fangskin 'gain. Him stil haved mob, but smaler - but stil big! Utor gonna run, but den snaeks not com. Dey sit an' wiggle. Utor wonder y dey no com. Dey jus' sit an' wiggle-wiggle. Mebbe dey stoopid. Utor fel sory for stoopid snaeks, so Utor go o'er an' reeped dem. Den Fangskin got mad and chased Utor! Utor run and flippy flops go *clopclopclopclop* 'gain, but de snaeks no get lost dis tim! Utor hid on wal, den wen snaeks comed only foow kuld atak Utor an' oters 'ad to wait. So Utor reeped dem eesy.
Utor go "Wew!" but keeped reeping moor snaeks an' voortexies. Den Utor Lok'ed an' saw dere no moor snaeks or voortexies. Utor twenny-too now, but dat stil to smal! Utor go down steps to find moor tings to reep.
Utor lok 'rond; runned into Sno Wich. She shoot juju at Utor! Ouchies! Utor taek of' staf an' kik her to def wif Utor's feet. Utor skeered. No like juju. Utor wonder wut else here.
Utor wander an' meeted 'nother wich an' kilt her. Den meeted jujuman! Him weres yelo rob an' trows liting at Utor. *BZZT* Ow! Grr. Utor no jujumen puny. Utor go o'er an' kik him to def jus' like Utor kiked wich to def. Jujuman try ssskape, but Utor feets to fast for him! Hehe
Den Utor see'd LOTS moor jujumen... an' dey al trowin' litin' at Utor! EEK! Utor runned! *clopclopclopclop* Dey no falo Utor. Utor happy. Utor tink 'bout dis, "Utor klose to Laz. But Utor in al-juju land. Utor wont kil Laz. But Utor no like juju. Utor smash jujumen. Jujumen wussies. Utor kil dem al if wichsss stay 'way. Utor smash medling wichsss! Den Utor smash jujumen! UTOR SMASH LAZ!"
Utor run 'rond an' rond up wich. Den Utor run an' wich falo. Utor hid on wal an wich get confused. She shoot but mis Utor. Utor pul out bow he fond offa snaek and shooted wich wif it. Tooked buncha arows, but she faled! Utor do dis 'gain foow tims to get rid o' wichsss. Den Utor run in an' kiked jujumen to def! Sometimes dey get 'way, but Utor feet kept dem in place moor o'ten den not. Utor goed town foow tims. Long walk, but Utor need jooice. Jujumen painful.
Den room cleer. Utor twenny-twee now. Utor falo path an' go norf. Utor find 'nother big room like de one Utor entred dis place in, but dis one 'ad biger room in it. Den from 'rond corner comed wichsss! Utor atak! OW! Utor hate wichss. Den Utor go 'long wal an' find some jujumen to kil. Den Utor find twee wichsss. Utor chase an' try corner, but dey slippry! Den one shoot, Utor blok, den nother shoot, Utor hit!, den hit too moor tims! Ow! Eyes go red. Uto...
Utor hed hurt. Utor nakid. Grr. Utor get moor jooice an' walk bak. Wichsss dy dis tim. Bad wichsss. Den Utor walk 'rond room 'gain an' find Bludlust. She hurted moor ouchies den norml wichsss, but Utor kilt her jus' fine. She gived shinee goldn rob. It smel like juju, but Utor take cus mebbe Cain wont it. Den 'rond room cleer. Utor peek inside.
*FVOOSH!* AHH! OW! OW!! Utor armr on fire!! Grr! Bad jujumen!! Utor run an' try find place to shoot jujumen from. But cannot! Dey hid gud. Grr. Utor peeped in room 'gain, and dis time Red Vex comed out. Utor hid an' trik Vex. She miss, but Utor hit her wif bow. *plinkplinkplinkplink* Den she screem and go splat. Utor den loor out Blackjade an' kil her sam way me kilt Red Vex.
Now Laz need die... Dis skeery!!!!! Jujumen kil Utor in twee hits! Grr! Utor come bak. Utor try 'gain. Utor kil one who ssskaped room. Den Utor go in an' kilt next. Utor see Laz not 'wake no moor. Utor go o'er an' nudge Laz. Den Laz get mad! Laz 'wake 'gain! Eep! *clopclopclopclopclop* Utor safe ou'sid room. Den wich com out. Utor shoot her wif bow. Utor go in an' wake up next wich an' kil her to. Den Utor try kill jujuman. Utor taek li'l pain from flash. Den Laz hit Utor an' Utor go SPALT! Gahh!! Bad Laz!
Utor bak. Utor kil jujuman. Den Laz al by hisself. Utor wake Laz up, den lay into 'im! *KIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIK* Laz ssskape! Com bak 'ere! *KIKIKIKIKIKIKIK* Laz run into corner! *KIKIKIKIKIKIKIKIK* Gronk! Stoopid jujuman no mess wif BAR.
Den Utor go an' find pentagam. Go down deepr. Deepr to jujumen an' knights.
Utor in place like dis:
http://geocities.com/lemmingofglory/UtorMap.html
1) Utor goed here first. Utor wont cleer safety area "jus' in case." But Utor run into jujumen in far corner so Utor run 'way.
2) Utor goed here next. Finded Gorash. Utor mighty and Gorash dy eesy. Utor den go 'cros area.
3) Now Utor here an' goed 'rond de room. But jujumen in corner! Dere wuz 5! (Kould not fit 5 on map to wel.) Utor tink, "Damn, jujumen! Me mighty! DY!" But dey laff and go "Yoo stoopid tribal!" Utor waked up in town.
4) Utor figger dose jujumen best left 'lone, so Utor goed bak and goed norf. AHHH!!!!! DIS BAD! VERY BAD! Dere *5* Jujumen packed in tiny tiny place! Utor dy ifn he take TWEE firbals! Ooohh... Utor HATE JUJUMEN!!! Utor run in an' tri kil one, but Utor go splat fast. Utor tri dif'rent statgee dis time. Utor smurt. Utor nows ifn yoo stand next to jujuman, dey panik an flash. De jujumen were lined up gud, so Utor hapy-feeted an' stood next to twee of dem!! Dey flashyflash, and de other to jujumen no strung nuff to kil Utor! Yay! Utor smash one of 'em, but he get 'way. Utor manage to kil one or too before Utor wake up in town 'gain. But Utor have statgee now so Utor goed back and finnised off al-a 'em!
5) Utor no were swich is. Utor try run dere. *SPLAT* Grr. LOTS jujumen in dere! Utor sad. Utor hate jujumen. Utor loored buncha evils 'way from swich kinda, so Utor go bak an' try get swich 'gain - sooicid misssin. Utor run fast! Utor get in room! Den Utor see SWICH ROOM FULL OF *7* JUJUMEN PROTETKING SWICH!!! GAHH!! *SPLAT* Utor goed back. Utor loored nights out an' reep-kilt dem. (Dere were sum nights, but dey no so bad as jujumen.) Den try swich 'gain. *SPLAT* Utor den loor moor nights. Try swich 'gain. *SPLAT* Utor hate dis!! STOOPID JUJUMEN!! Utor try swich GAIN! *SPLAT* GRAH!!! Utor wuz neer swich but jujuman hed wuz o'er swich an' Utor couldn't get to it!!! !@$!@# EVIL EVIL JUJUMEN HID SWICH FROM UTOR! UTOR SMASH ALL OF YOU!!
Utor goed bak. Utor poach jujuman neer dorway into big room. Utor creep out an' kik 'nother jujuman to def who neer door. Utor creep 'rond moor an' kik moor jujumen to def!! BAH! DY DY DY DY DY! Yoo no win o'er BAR!! Den sumting happen dat make Utor fel gud. Utor walked bak to town for jooice! No have to dy to get bak! YAY! Utor fel gud. Utor bad. Utor kil jujumen. Utor go bak. Utor sneek in an' flip swich. Utor FLIP SWICH!! SWICH SWICH SWICH!! FINLY!!
6) Utor hapy now. Utor run to maze an' find nights. Utor run, pul out scythe, an' reep dem. Utor put scythe 'way and creep up on jujumen an kik dem to def. Den Utor turn corner an' run up to jujumen who stand in line. One runs 'way, but Utor tri kil other. Utor not fast nuff an' other too jujumen shoot Utor in bak. Grr... Utor hate go to town dis way. Utor goed bak an' teeched dem a ting or too.
7) Den Utor make it into maze. Utor find nother jujuman clog - 5 stuffed in tiny space! Utor run up and dey flash. Utor kil dem. Utor lucky dey were dum an' not use firbal much. Utor go souf in maze an' den eest. Utor run up to too jujumen, but dey run an' shoot Utor to def. *sii*
Stoopid jujumen... Utor tink is past 1 AM an' tim for yoo to dy! An' dey do. Utor kil moor nights an' flip swich.
8) Almost done!! YAY! Utor go here now, an' flip swich. Den go an' flip souf swich. Den Utor turn twenny-foor! Yay!
9) Utor go an loor out nights, an' Jim. Utor reeped dem. By-by Jim. Den Utor go in town an' pak up, an by all big jooices.
Utor comed bak. Utor wake up D. Utor run! Utor reep an' reep! Den drink from pak an' put reeper 'way cus feets faster. Den kik an' kik an' kik! Den run 'way an' restok belt. Den kik an' kik! Den run 'way to town cus outta jooice.
Big Red is beefy! Wow! Utor by all big jooice 'gain, figger dat shud be nuff. But it not! Af'er lotsa kik an' kik Big Red still alive! AHH!! Jooice out! EEK! *SPLAT*
Utor unner estmate Big Red. Utor no do dat 'gain. Utor by moor big jooice. Utor go bak an' tri 'gain!
Eek! Big Red broked armr!! Eek! Jooice runned out!! Utor run town 'gain! Big Red REALLY tough!! Moor jooice, pease, Pep'n.
Utor kik an' kik an' kik! DY BIG RED! An' he did! Af'er foow moor jooices an' lotsa lotsa kiks, Big Red died! WHAHOO!
Utor goed bak town 'gain. Utor have funy glowin' rok in hed. Utor sleepy. Utor see Moon in sky. Moon say it 2 o'clok. Utor go bed now. Nitey-nite.
-Utor(BAR), Barbarian Knight
http://geocities.com/lemmingofglory/UtorD.html
-------------------------
Wow, if you could understand all that, great. :) Elapsed game time was about 4 hours. Whew! Here's more information on Utor(BAR).
Utor(BAR) is a (Solo Multiplayer) Hellfire Monk class BARbarian, and he's just dotted himself. :) (First Monk(BAR) to do so, AFAIK, hence the post.) Some background on his path to the almighty Dot...
Starting off, his first goal was to get Strength to 30, which he accomplished with but a single clvl up. :) Ah, now that Strength is 30, he'll be able to use a War Staff (his "scythe") when found.
The decision to use staves over, uh, anything else was an easy one to make. Consider this: At clvl 24, Utor equipped a Scimitar. His damage? 11-19. Playing a Monk who uses anything *but* a Staff (or feets) is gonna be pretty bad off in the damage department. (Not to mention his mage-like swing speed swords and clubs. He's slightly faster than a mage with axes and bows, however.) Staves also provided him with sweet, sweet sweep damage. Alternatively, he could use his Feets that have a stunning 0.35 attack speed! Barehanded damage is also *very* nice.
His armor was always some sort of cloth or leather. Chain actually reduced his AC, and he was never strong enough to use any sort of plate. ;)
After strength hit 30 he split points between Vitality and Dexterity (1v/4d per level until about clvl 16, I believe). He had little trouble with Butcher and Leoric, and he also went on to kill Hork Demon and the Defiler. (Ouch! Those Hive juju-animal things were nasty!) It was only in his teens that he ran into problems finding a place that would give him good exp but wouldn't tear him to shreds in seconds. The levels crawled along until he hit 20, where he tried Nightmare diff.
Well, one thing you should know about Nightmare and Hell diff in Hellfire (if you're not familiar with it) is that monsters are NOT the weaklings they are in D1. Their hps are all over 100, and the exp is about as bad as early caves. So this really wasn't a great place to level up either. :\
He eventually hit 21 and hovered there for a long time, until I picked him up last night.
For his first game, I tried him out in Hell. As luck would have it, he ran into Balrogs. Oh, but not just Balrogs - Blackskull's mob! Isn't that great, an all-melee mob of monsters that have a hit recovery time of .05 seconds? :)
Well, I know what you're thinking: He got splatted! Ouch, brutal!
At first he was able to take a few 'Rogs at a time... activating only a few at once and slaughtering them. Then he creeped closer to Blackskull and woke up one of the 'Rogs on the fringe of his mob, and they ALL woke up... about 7 in total, including Blackskull himself.
AHH!!! Yup, I ran, but I won't let him beat me. I backed up to a wall and started swinging, damaged some. Then ran some more, swing and dish out some more pain. Again, killed one this time. Then I led them on a long loop and stopped between the corner of a wall and a floor horn. One Balrog approached me and the others all lined up behind him. He was a living cork!
There was some overflow that came around, but they were dispatched easily once they came up into melee range. In the mean time, Utor bashed away on the "cork" Balrog. Once the cork died, another would take his place. And so on, until all 'Rogs were dead. :)
Anyway, it was a great battle. No deaths; didn't go to town. He had a supply of 9 pots in his backpack to back up his belt. ;) That was just enough for a warm-up...
With that, it was dinner time. But Utor would return to hell that night to complete a run that ended in his triumphant First Dot!
Stats at Clvl 24
Str: 32
Mag: 16
Dex: 120
Vit: 37
Life: 108 (*With* pumped vit. Sigh)
Mana: No spells, so who cares? ;) His Search skill was useful.
AC: 89
To Hit: 110%
Damage (Feet): 36-48 (0.35 attack speed - stunlocks mages! Whoo!)
Damage (Staff): 33-40 (0.40 attack speed - sweep damage!)
Resists: 0% across the board! ;)
Strength was increased 2 points beyond 30 by two elixirs. Similarly, Mag went up a point due to an elixir. Vit/Dex were likely the recipient of an elixir or two as well.
89 was his AC with his Studded Leather on, but it broke in the battle vs D, dropping his AC to 72. He wore no helm for no known reason. That's 72 NAKED AC. Isn't that Monk AC bonus nice? ;)
Oh, did I mention that he can block WITH a Staff AND Barehanded? Sweet, eh? It was half-good/half-bad: He also blocked spells! (In Hellfire, you block spells with and without resists. Though this doesn't matter to Utor.) Hmm, as for Feet/Staff combat, he used the Staff against mobs (for the sweep), but he used Feet vs single enemies (faster, more damaging).
In the end, Utor beat D to death NAKED.
No armor (broke)
No helm (dunno why; didn't have one when I booted him up and I never bothered to give him one)
No weapon (Feet more powerful than Staff)
And he was still formidable! But despite this, Diablo was no pushover!! Oh, no, for Utor's damage was not enough to always-stun Diablo. "HUH?!" You say? Read on!
Diablo's stats in Hellfire are boosted nicely. Take a look at the differences:
Mlvl 45 vs Mlvl 30
3333 Hps vs 1666
90 AC vs 70
0.10 Hit Recovery Speed vs 0.30
Nasty! And note that's *48* damage needed to stun D, which he *barely* had! And that hit recovery speed! That's almost as fast as a Balrog (0.05)!
Mmm, yeah. It was a sweet battle, a great game, and I hope you enjoyed the write up. ;) If you couldn't understand Utor's BAR Speak, I can repost in a scribed version.