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Matt (no login)
Posted Mar 30, 2009 10:21 PM
No, I'm now working on a new thesis. It's called 'The Chimp, the FBI Officer and the hunt for Bin Laden.' You see, due to the global credit crisis and the thousands of US taxdollars squandered by US intelligence officials chasing bum leads that have led to nothing new except dead ends and a whole new flock of camels for the local tribe leaders of Afghanistan it has come to the attention of the new US Obama led administration that evidence obtained suggests encouraging signs that a highly trained squad of chimpanzees may actually stand a slightly better chance of snagging BIN Laden than highly paid but highly incompetent FBI officers currently bungling the job. The percentages are quite clear:
FBI Officer (hope of finding Bin Laden 0.00%)
Trained Chimp(hope of finding Bin Laden 0.01%)
Plans are at an early stage but could involve a hidden camera to follow the whereabouts of a squadron of chimps and some random FBI Officers a they go about resolving a training exercise involving a mountain, an ambush and a firing range. Simon Cowell will then eliminate all but the best two contestants, one chimp, one not so chimp, who will battle it out live on television in a decathlon style training exercise where the last man(or chimp) standing will win the day. If both competitors are standing, the public vote will come into effect. Whatever happens, we'll probably rig it and send the chimp anyway as he statistically stands a much better chance of succeeding. The victor will then be dropped on the Afghan border with a hidden camera, an M16, a compass, false beard, a copy of the Koran and of course, a month's supply of bananas. What do you think? The televised
show will probably be called 'GORILLA WARFARE' unless we can think of something better between now and live broadcast.
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