Well what can I say?

I was walking through, erm

"Harchester" the other day (I think that's a town in a soap opera on British TV channel Sky One) and I noticed some bloke shouting "Lieberries! Ten pound a pound!".

So I got my mobile phone out and what do you know? Amongst the 4000 entries there was one for Harchester Council and Harchester Trading Standards.

So a quick call to a lovely young man by the name of "Hugh Juntrooth" and he said that despite local Trading Stadards Officials being busy looking into some serious criminal activity they'll drop everything and make it so that all the signs and scales and all that get changed to nice kilos in readiness for the next time I walk down that same stretch of road - which was seven minutes and forty three seconds later.

Actually - they shot the market trader too.

Later when I went down that same road his great great grand children were doing an excellent job (despite being minus 24 years old) of selling rancid meat in lovely metric (I don't mind the meat being off and poisonous, that's far less harmful than granny's pounds and ounces).

What a transformation!

Even loyal customers were talking in kilograms and erecting signs with metres on them because they do that now.

Later I'm going to go down another street where no doubt they'll be saying things in imperial and shortly after they'll all be saying things in metric.

Now that's another street that's 100% per kg!

Looks like some superior quality grass by me once again!

God this superskunk is strong! What the hell's "an eighth" anyway?

Just as SteveH likes to play games with people who CHOOSE to put up a sign to their own business with "metres" on them, rest assured I will be continuing at every opportunity to report any scammer using lb/oz to make his produce look cheaper than a legally trading competitor.
I will keep at any TSO who does not follow through to the letter of the law immediately. So you can keep your nasty minded smart arsed comments and get used to it. NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. Been nice dropping in on the Steve Humphrey's chat site! Watch for the disappearing lb anywhere near you.

Mr Bennett you must be gutted ( in view of your rant about a fictitious Britain under Napolean) to read where 200,000 Brits emigrate to annually. Yes, the bulk to FRANCE and SPAIN. The rest to Australia and New Zealand, with a few
( perhaps imperialist gun-toters off the good ole US of A). All these replaced of course by some 200,000 known immigrants from the arse ends of the earth and Muslim hell holes.
Must be sad that metric just came along the way it did instead of what your fantasy world prescribed. HILARIOUS.

Very nice music to my ears. What do they call themselves, pro choicers. Sure, as long as you opt for their choice.

Immigrants from metric countries bringing more metric to the UK. They create in their neighborhoods a copy of their former home including their use of metric units. They have no problem shopping for products weighed in kilograms as that is the standard scale unit in the UK. They can read and hear metric in the news and on the telly, especially weather reports. If they have a car, they may have to adjust to miles, but they have no need to learn that a word called gallons exists because they would buy gasoline in litres.

If they make their own clothes or buy them in shops that sell their style, they will continue to use metric to describe them as in their home market. Even if they make their own clothes, they can buy materials in the same metric units they bought them in their former home. When they work in offices and factories that are already metric they will continue to speak these terms and help enforce the metric environment. When they speak to the natives, they speak in metric as they are use to and the natives, being educated in metric understand quite well what they mean.

They are a catalyst and a motivator in seeing that metric is heard and used more and more at the expense of imperial. No wonder Tony despises these people. They are metricating the UK common folk a metre at a time. Good for them!

I can understand the first post being a bit of fun, a joke - but I can't work out if the posts that follow are in the same ilk. You know - as in "yeah, really! people do say metres all the time, where's my joint?".

I can understand the reason behind Daniel's fantasy post (and the fact that his views *do* get met with a lot of hilarity) but the stuff about muslims and immigration/emigration is either dark humour - or real racist crap by a certain woman bellydancer who spends her life posting hilarious twaddle about calling TSO's on their phones to a website that she has some insane hate of ("inchophobia?") and going around hearing people say metre and stuff.

Of course tarring all muslims in the same vein as a few nutbags is what I expect of her and -surpise suprise- gets a full nod of approval from he who calls himself "metre" (eric).

So if someone can tell me when to laugh......