I prefer Burgundy myselfby Victoria Alexander
((Ooc - Gotta love when you can bring other storylines from other forums to help fill in the background gaps lol))
"At one point I truly did. Even got that faint idea of doing the whole family gig. But even before everything that happened, the two of us. Well, we werent really the settle down type. We always had targets on our backs no matter what we did. You take down one only to have it be replaced by another. Sure it helped to have allies in certain areas but in the end it would have been too hard to just try to be...well I guess you could call it 'normal'."
Victoria leaned a bit forward and sucked on the straw in her milkshake and then taking another fry and swirling it around in the ketchup that she had found herself putting on her plate.
"See the whole thing with me is no matter what I do or who I love. I will probably always love them. Cause I know that when I love its from the depths of my soul. And no matter how hard I try to deny how I feel or reject the idea of loving another person. I cant help it. My own personal flaw."
"I know it sounds silly. I blame it on the fact of losing my parents and appreciating the people that I do have in my life. I learned at such an early age that not everything lasts like the fairytales. I wish it did thou. I really wish it did."
Taking the fry and putting it into her mouth she chewed on it before shaking her head.
"The fact remains that Kazuki, well he was probably the second person to ever rip my heart out and hand it strait back on a platter. Now when I said he was dead that was what I was led to believe, course running into the live and well version had me seeing red but what can you do. But now, I dont blame him. See his bulls-eyes were a lot bigger than mine and instead of sharing this little tid bit of information with me. He decided to go and fake his own death to get out of some troubles. Course I did break it off with him just a few weeks before and there was a lot of things I didnt tell him. I know he hated me for breaking things off the way I did but believe me when I say I had my reasons. I had to protect more than just myself."
Victorias eyes shifted down to the table.
"So in the end. Yes I do still love him even though he had put me through emotional hell as I will always love the men in my life that I had given my heart to. But I had done the same to him even thou when I did what I did without knowing."
In her mind she could still see the anger, the pain on his face the day he threw the small black and white picture at her. The same one she had left on his grave. They had their fair share of lies between them. And even thou he may never regret his own. She had regretted hers. Victoria should have told him. She should have, but she didnt.
Taking in a deep breath and then letting it out, she picked up her burger and took a bite. She chewed on it but she didnt really taste it but that didnt bother her.
"I know how you feel when it comes to staying in a hotel. Tak and I have been crashing in one since I got into town. Hes been busy looking for an apartment since it seems Ill be staying for a while. Tak was always against me coming back and refused to take no for an answer when it came to me coming alone, so he thinks I need a chaperone. But I guess I dont blame him, hes been this way ever since the cancer. He thinks he has to play big brother and take care of me. He is probably the only person I would trust with my life. And if you didnt know any better you would mistake us for siblings."
"Course if you look at it that way. I have about 6 more brothers back home waiting for a phone call each night just to make sure Im ok and if I made any single lady friends."
Victoria shook her head and rolled her eyes.
Taking another bite and then placed it back down on her plate.
"But enough about me, Its nothing but depressive stuff anyhow. Lets talk about some perks. So how about my first match. Got stood up. You would think I was asking for a commitment or something, guys go running scared. Im sure I looked stupid in that ring. My first match back and I had to wing it. Guess my welcome back wasnt as good as I thought it would have been. Talk about the unexpected."
Victoria seemed to perk up a little as she talked about something other than her life as she kept on eating her fries.
"So any big plans with your return? I figured I would just take what comes to me and go with the flow. Just like I used to."
Posted on Nov 13, 2009, 10:33 AM
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