ULTIMATE IMMORTAL INC. ENTERTAINMENT!!! [CORRECT VERSION]

by Jestress & She-Devil


In the backstage area, walking through the parking lot with She-Devil by her side, the camera captures her smoking a cigarette while discreetly discussing some confidential business with her.
Taking a break from blowing puffs of smoke that formed circular whoops in the air, she flicked her cigarette aside on the cement ground in the parking lot and stamped the still burning butt of it out. Casually blowing a stream of smoke from her mouth playfully she chuckled at the thought of Gideon's son.
"That little PRICK thinks he's just one big, bad, He-Man, don't he?"
She-Devil sneered and clenched her fist.
"So it seems. It won't matter though after I get through..."
With a slight frown, Jestress held up her hand to interrupt She-Devil.
"What is it?"
She inquired with curiosity.
"I can not tell a lie SD."
She commented. SD was her nickname for She-Devil. She knew what was going on in She-Devil's head. She was overthinking things. She felt like she had some kind of "Code Of Conduct" to appeal to when it came to being herself. Jestress realized that it was for moment such as this that She-Devil had brought her into the fold. She needed to have a right hand woman, so to speak. She needed another voice of reason amongst the chaos that came with being the Oracle to Devil.
Jestress leaned back against a nearby wall in the parking lot and exhalted calmly.
"SD I know that you know you're holding back. The way you talk to these mortals isn't the real you. Now I know this whole DWF place is new to you. It's new to me too. But when you really think about it, throughout the ages, mortals and what they find entertaining hasn't changed that much at all. While they may be mortals they can tell the real you from some kind of act or front."
She stood back up to a vertical basis and smiled, placing a friendly hand on the shoulder of the red skinned Demigoddess, who listened intently.
"My point being you can't let anything or anyone take the fun out of your existence. That is a big part of being a Demigod and essential to the Gods themselves. You already know all of this but I think being around all these "creatures" or whatever you call them has made you doubt yourself. I know you can't stand that arrogant jerk-off Draven and his Old Man but you can't walk around with a twisted, fu-gly face all the time. You can't let them get to you that way or they've already claimed a victory. My rule of thumb is simple and it works: NEVER LET THEM STEAL YOUR SMILE."
She turned to She-Devil, who had a questionable expression on her face.
"What I want to do to them isn't really anything to be laughing at."
Jestress pointed at her as if correcting her in some fashion.
"WHY NOT!? You need to lighten up and have fun! Even if you're cracking their skulls with heel of your boots. HAVE FUN DOING IT! Now, tell me you're going to have fun and stop being so SERIOUS all the time!"
She-Devil sighed and leaned back against a random van parked in the parking lot.
"You're right Jes. In place like the DWF where it's packing all kinds of freaks and monsters the "scary" approach probably isn't the best or most effective."
She closed her eyes, as if meditating or praying, then took in a deep breath and finally let it out a few seconds later.
"You're absolutely right Jes. Let's have some fun at the expense of others!"
Jestress began to punch and jab as if she were in a boxing match, yelling with approval.
"YEAH! DEVIL SAID KNOCK'EM OUT!"
A FEW MOMENTS LATER...
Back in the arena, the Creaturetron suddenly comes to life with the sound of none other than the Ultimate Warrior's theme music! The audience, shocked by the sound of the familar theme blasted over the PA system, comes to their feet only to witness She-Devil bolt out to the ring clad in her usual tight, black, leather body suit wearing multi-colored tassles with her face painted up like the Ultimate Warrior, the colors matching those of the tassles.
Seemingly at the speed of light or sound, she dashes to the ring and leaps up on the ring apron and begins shaking them wildly as the Warrior himself would. Quickly she enter the ring and motions for the announcer to bring her the microphone. After the ring announcer hands her the microphone she wildly begins to pump her fist up and down into the air and wildly does a series of pelvic thrust motions that look more sexual than Warrior-like, which cause the audience to laugh.
She finally brings the microphone to her mouth and lets out a random, deep throated, roar as she constantly moves her other free arm in a circle, causing the tassles to fly freely as she speaks with the most Warrior-like voice she can muster, "AS I LOOKED upon the weakling known as Draven challenge me and my Warriors to a battle under the burning stars of the falling univeral sun I KNEW that with the undisputed power the Gods had vested in me in the Valley of the Shadow of Death that I would fulfill my destiny to DESTROY them and do an indian rain dance on their hallow skulls under the BLOOD HORNED MOON! ARRRGGHHHHH!!!"
As the crowd continues to laugh another theme hits, the unmistakable theme of the Immortal Hulk Hogan, "Real American." Upon the Creaturetron the video shows Jestress lip singing the lyrics along side She-Devil who is mockingly and falsely playing a fake guitar making horrible "Rock Star" like motions and dancing gestures that can only be seen from the 80s.
Second laters, out marches Jestress clad in a yellow tank top with rips on the back similar to the original Hulk Hogan tank top that displayed "HULK RULES" in the 80s and 90s. This tank top instead display in bright red, looking as if blood were dripping from the letters, "DEVIL RULES" and she had her dark, red highlighted hair let loose with a red bandana on it that has Devil's symbol in bright yellow.
She marches down the aisle with her face painted, instead of the previous colors, a bright yellow with bright red highlights on her eyes and same, seemingly, trademark wide sadistic smile that goes from ear to ear. Pointing to the sky repeatedly and spinning around in a circle, only to repeat pointing to the sky marching proudly on her way to the ring.
With She-Devil jogging around the ring and pumping her fists up and down repeatedly looking to the sky as if the Gods were talking to her the crowd continued to laugh histerically at the imitation of these two wrestling legends.
As Jestress made her way into the ring after pointing at the crowd from each side of the ring and each side of the apron, she stepped between the ropes and out of nowhere a bald old man dressed like Mean Gene Okerland slide into the ring with a microphone. Once in the ring Jestress put her ear and stepped around and around each direction of the ring repeatedly in a fast, rapid-fire motion which made She-Devil's speed of jogging and arm thrusting motion increase. After a few moments of Jestress going around and around with her "hand to the ear" pose she finally stopped next to the random short, balding, old man who held up a microphone to her as she began to flex and pose in a series of fluid motions.
A chant of "JESTRESS" began on one side of the arena and "SHE-DEVIL" on the other.
The little, old, balding man brings the microphone up to Jestress's mouth and she finally brings...
"WELL LEMME TELL YA SOMETHING MEAN GENE! Draven came out here and called me a Harley Quinn wannabe. Well lemme tell ya something Brother, Harley Quinn is side-kick, with an annoying New York accent, with low self esteem, in love with a homocidal, criminal, who dresses like a clown! If he would just stop trying to be a tough guy to get out of his Daddy's shadow he'd know that if I was imitating anyone it would be the legendary Doink the Clown not some clown, sidekick, getting physically and verbally abused by another clown who gets p'owned by another freak that dresses like a Bat!
So now that we got that straight, the next thing on the agenda is why in the HELL this guy is talking about my Forbidden One's privates! He's going into alot of detail! Too much detail! Makes me wonder which team this guy is playing for if you catch my drift!"
Just then She-Devil stops jogging and pumping her arms up in and air and yells into the microphone, "THE WARRIORS WILL FEED ON HIS ROTTING BONES WHEN THE ECLIPSE OF THE RED BLOODED MOON OF THE FIFTH CYCLE OF THE ELDER GODS!!!!"
Jestress stands there confused for a moment, watching She-Devil, then shrugs and goes on with her "Hulk Hogan" voice, "THAT'S RIGHT DUDE! AND WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE WARRIORS AND JESTRESSALITES RUN WILD ON YOU!!!" She goes to rip off her tank top and accidently knocked out of the ring but apparently she forgets she doesn't have anything on underneath the tank top! She-Devil stops pumping her fists into the air, realizing that Jestress has her breasts exposed and breaks character, jumping in front of them and shielding them from the camera.
Now, in the midst of all this, with "Real American" playing in the background She-Devil guides Jestress to the back area with her red-skinned hands over her chest as the crowd errupts with laughter and cheers. If having fun and letting loose was the mission it definitely had been successful.

Posted on May 28, 2012, 7:17 PM

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