Calgary Flames General Manager Jay Feaster announces the signing of former strongman Jeff Gilooly to an entry level contract. Gilooly, listed a 6' and a 12" schlong, has been brought in to the lurk in the shadows under the stands and use the pipe on Lee Stempniak and Tim Jackman so that they can keep Sven Baertschi in Calgary the rest of the season. "We needed someone of Jeff's expertise and who could get the job done and Jeff showed that in the Nancy Kerrigan incident, we are glad to welcome him aboard", Feaster said.
The Flames drive towards a playoff spot continues this Sunday as they host the Columbus Blue Jackets at Scotiabank Saddledome. Seats are still available by calling the Flames box office.