holy god in heaven! if there is a god in heaven!
where in my posts did i say anything about dignity or no dignity? you read my posts and assumed that was the thrust, the implication of my posts. i never said anything about cremation not being dignified. you are so absolutely wrong! dignity or lack of dignity in cremating someone was not the thrust of my post! i never posted any assertion of an absolute, unbreakable, unimpeachable, principle, when it comes to death and what should be done with the remains of a loved one. how can there ever be any hard and fast rules when it comes to death and dying, and what to do with a loved one's remains? all one has to do is think of the titanic, or an earthquake, or a tsunami. for crying out loud, you sure did read alot that isn't there into my post!
my post was adressed to paula, paula the following days after anissa's death. paula hit hard in the belly, hit hard in the soul. paula shattered, broken to pieces, unable to breath. how do you cremate your eighteen year old daughter, who you had no idea would die so soon or so unexpectedly or so tragically? how do you simply say to yourself, "well that's what anissa said, if she dies she wants to be cremated, so i'll cremate her, right now."
my sentiments are not about any unbreakable, absolutist, belief as to what to do with a loved one's remains. my sentiments are about anissa's case, and paula's case, during the day's after anissa's death. if anissa had been my daughter--- in my shattered heart, my shattered soul, my shattered life, in my gasping for air, in my tormented heart, i could not have cremated her! not in those days or weeks, or maybe even months. maybe after, maybe after. maybe a year after, when the grief was over, i would have her body taken out of a private mausoleum, where there would have been no public access, and honored her so called "final" wish.
but i'm not so sure i could. in my opinion, anissa's final wish was to have butch koven give her another seconal, that was the final wish. it killed anissa, anissa was wrong about that wish.