INT. METROPOLITAN ART GALLERY - WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS, WE'RE INSIDE, AND HAVE BEEN FOR SOME GOOD MANY HOURS, OK?
A conservatively dressed middle-aged man is perusing an abstract art exhibit in New York; he is a journalist for a suburban Long Island weekly doing a Lifestyle piece for the general public; it is a much balyhooed one man show for an artist of the deconstructionist post-modern proto-Dadaist movement......
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(seeking the attention of the uniformed guard)
Excuse me, could you tell me the name of the artist?
GUARD
Sorry, sir, doesn't reveal that information to the public.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Seems rather silly, don't you think, since a self-portrait is hanging right here for all the world to see.
(he presses the guard who isn't used to this sort of thing)
GUARD
Well, yes, sir, true enough, but don't think there's any risk being recognized on the street, now do you?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Suppose you're right at that, with his head missing behind, or is it under....no, inside, that blobby thing there
(he points, somewhat unsure of what he is indicating)
Isn't that where his head would go?
GUARD
Not sure it's a he, sir, see what I mean, anonymous, that sort of thing.
(looks at his watch nervously)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
The blob, you mean? Oh, oh, see what you mean; well, thanks very much, all the same.
GUARD
Happy to help, sir. If it would be of interest, there is a guided tour starting in a few minutes, last one of the day, I believe.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Think I'll give it a try, confused really, titles don't really help, do they?
(he is contorting his body to gain a better perspective on the abstractions)
CUT TO few moments later:
INT. METROPOLITAN ART GALLERY LOBBY- ONE HOUR FROM CLOSING
TOUR GUIDE
Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll just follow me then, we will commence our journey through the exhibit.
(she extends her hand into the corridor)
Now, this piece is on loan from the Smathersley in Boston, a rare treat indeed, as it has never been seen, anywhere in the world; now then........
LIONEL WADSWORTH
I have a question-----how can we be sure these items are by the artist when we don't know the artist's name?
TOUR GUIDE
I'm sorry sir, but, due to the limited time for the tour we cannot take questions; now, you'll notice the minimalist brush strokes in white, covering the canvass....this is a technique innovated by the artist after long experimentation in black with the same sort of technique; the name, "Nada", is, of course, the Spanish word for nothing.
(they move along)
Now, this next item has quite a history: due to its name, "What the Hell are you looking at!", it has caused a controversy over whether the artist ever actually intended to have it shown publicly; since the movement founded by our artist does not believe in meaning, per se, no help has been forthcoming, however, this does not 'mean'
(nervous tittering)
that the artist approves of this showing, inasmuch as the movement does not subscribe to action, either pro or con.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Um, you said no questions: have a comment------who does this guy think he is!
TOUR GUIDE
Actually, sir, that is a question....
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Well, yeah, but it's rhetorical; I think I may want a refund.
TOUR GUIDE
Sir, the exhibit is free of charge, now I really must......
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Hey, now, somebody was happy to take my money......
(he is cut off)
TOUR GUIDE
I'm sure they must have viewed it as a contribution.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Who benefits from the contributions?
TOUR GUIDE
That's a question......now, will you all follow me....
(she is cut off)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Hey, THAT's a question!
TOUR GUIDE
How very alert of you, sir!
(she motions for the guard to come over)
GUARD
Any problems, ma'm?
(he looks in the direction of Lionel W.)
TOUR GUIDE
This gentleman may be interested in one of the brochures, to save us precious time. Mr. O'Malley, would you kindly show him to them?
(she and the group move on)
GUARD
Now, sir, why don't you come with me.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
I'll have you know, I paid good money to see this exhibit.....
(officer takes his arm)
GUARD
Must have been a contribution, something we're always grateful for, entitles you to free brochures.....
(he is interrupted)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Whaddya mean 'free brochures', aren't they....and another thing, I didn't want to make a contribution!
GUARD
Then I'm afraid there'll be a handling charge for any refund, paperwork, that sort of thing.
Lionel is dumbfounded beyond his prior state of mind, and therefore speechless.
GUARD (cont'd)
(unfased)
Now, then, let's get you a booklet and see if your questions can't be answered that way, be a good sport.
(they walk to the admission booth)
There, should get you up to speed; got one hour to closing time.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(thumbing through brochure)
Hold on; there's nothing in here but 'expletives deleted', and pictures of the paintings with names, some deleted.....
GUARD
That's right sir, artist doesn't approve of brochures, you see, so we had to wing it.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Wait a minute, she must have known that, just did that to shut me up.....
GUARD
Technically correct, sir, seeing as how the artist doesn't like questions, won't permit them during one of his or her exhibits. The curator had to promise to respect that, otherwise there would have been even greater objection to the exhibit, not by the artist, though, um told, see, doesn't believe in......
LIONEL WADSWORTH
......objections, right? Who the Hell is this guy?
GUARD
Could be a 'she', sir.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Whatever the artist is, got some nerve.
GUARD
Can't really say, sir, all we know is due to the Movement's beliefs, any type of 'action' is outlawed; no one here has even spoken to him.....I mean, the artist.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
So it may be a man, after all; oh, and by the way, isn't looking at the 'art' action?
GUARD
Slip of the tongue,sir's all; really, no one has ever seen the person who created this exhibit; and, uh, on that other point, not supposed to say, but, looking has been specifically exempted by the Movement.
(he looks around to see if he has been overheard)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
What do you mean, 'looking' is not approved by them, him, whoever?
GUARD
The kind of 'looking' that leads to questions, such as: 'What the hell is this; I don't understand this, can someone offer some insight into the symbolic significance of....', that sort of situation; although---- and you should find this in the brochure----passive looking is quite alright. Ties in with the whole anti-meaning theme, you see.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Then how the Hell did he....she, it do something called a Self-Portrait? And would you please stop directing me to the bloody brochure.....you just got through telling me you had to wing it!
GUARD
Oh, I should think that item was done in a very passive sort of way, no real action to it, according to the brochure, that is. And, uh, don't forget the Squid, sir, in the picture as well. Brochure's not really my department, now is it, just trying to be helpful.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
The what.....oh, yeah, the Giant Squid.....now you're going to tell me that since no one has actually seen such a creature that it agrees nicely, thematically speaking of course, with the manufactured mystery attitude?
GUARD
Hadn't really thought of it that way, but, yes, you could say it's kind of a symbol for the artist, and the Movement itself, I suppose, you know, no one has ever seen a Giant Squid in its habitat, that sort of thing, although, um told, the artist does live near the water, quite mysterious, as to your last point, know what I mean?
(he is pulling Lionel's leg, but Lionel doesn't seem to feel it in his pique)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
I suppose the next thing you're gonna say is that its because its too deep, right?
GUARD
What's too deep?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
The ocean!
(he catches himself shouting, covers his mouth apologetically)
GUARD
Oh, thought you were referring to the subject, thematically speaking, that is and, I'll thank you not to raise your voice, the children.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
They let children in here?
GUARD
Age discrimination, big lawsuit, got settled last week, glad of that, I'll tell you, woulda kept away all those snooty lawyers, especially the women ones, big fans of the artist, they.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that some jerk actually wanted his kid to see this stuff? Probably one of those elitist lawyers, right? Perfect suckers for this crap, aren't they, hell argue both sides of anything for a price-----say, maybe the artist is a lawyer?!
GUARD
Gettin outta my depth here, I'll go get the Assistant Curator for you; in the meantime, why don't you look over the brochure more thoroughly, just be a moment.
(he leaves)
CUT TO FEW MOMENTS LATER:
Lionel W. has been sitting on a viewing bench leafing through the brochure more thoroughly, now more upset than ever.
ASSISTANT CURATOR
I'm Jane Hathaway, how may I help you.
(the Guard is nearby, observing)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
I just don't understand what's going on here; pay money which I thought was required, then find out that it's free, and that you got sued to let kids see this crazy stuff.....
(cut off)
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Now, sir, this exhibit is the first of its kind in this country, with such a variety of work from a whole school of art theory, about which we are only just learning the philosophy behind......
(she is interrupted)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
If its never been seen before, how do you know its any good?!
(he is more frustrated)
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Oh, sir, with no disrespect, that is so naive, possibly even peurile, at least in the Middle French derivative sense of.....
(cut off)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
What....sorry, did you just question my virility?
ASSISTANT CURATOR
I'm afraid you misunderstand: this is the very response new art has always evoked and, then, once it is mainstreamed, all its originality is lost. WE do our very best to prepare the public with brochures, guided docent tours.....
(cut off again)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Brochures, tours.......lady, do you know that no questions are allowed about the things NOT in your brochure, which is everything, I might add.
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Minimalism, sir, questions get in the way of the isomorphic dialogue between the artist and you, this is a tenet of the Movement, one which we subscribe to wholeheartedly.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Oh, you mean the expletives I have been mercifully deprived of in your brochure for the blind.
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Sir, some of our most appreciative patrons are the unsighted.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Finally, something we might agree on! So, let me get this straight; you've never seen, talked to, nor has any of your peers anywhere, for that matter, and you are defending this guy?
ASSISTANT CURATOR
My guess is the artist is certainly a woman, the signs are ubiquitous, really.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
As in everywhere, I take it; ok, answer me this---------how do you know that some jerk like me didn't 'create' all this as a hoax?
ASSISTANT CURATOR
(laughing haughtily)
Droll, sir, very droll; no, this wasn't just thrown together by just anyone, no. Truthfully, it is virutally obvious, but, of course, I do have a Ph.D. in Art History, Eastern & Western traditions. No, it is her nuancing of the leitmotif of the vanished maternalism of prehistory, the virtual banishment of Woman from the vanguard of creative Voice....until now!
(she has grown impassioned as she is a member of NOW)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
They told me this artist's Movement doesn't allow meaning!
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Ah, it is there that we find the source of your ultimate confusion: that prohibition applies only to the meaning of 'meaning'.
GUARD
Beggin your pardon, Ms. Hathaway, closing time.
ASSISTANT CURATOR
There, you see, we must part, such a pity; however, I will, since you have been so persistent in your desire to learn, let you in on a secret: the actual auteur herself may be making an unscheduled appearance here tomorrow, Saturday!
GUARD
But you can't ask questions....
(cut off)
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Now, Mr. O'Malley, I'm sure our guest will behave himself if he chooses.....
(she is cut off)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Oh, wouldn't miss it; when is he....she supposed to be here?
ASSISTANT CURATOR
(smiling at Guard, who smiles back)
Ta, ta, no questions, remember? The fact is no one knows; the Movement doesn't believe in 'time', as we know it artifactually speaking, of course.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
So, tomorrow could mean the day after, right?
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Afraid those 'units of incarceration of Life', as she has so well put it, are verbotten; We'll all just have to wait and see, find it rather refreshing really, the absence of all the trappings of modernity and its angst, see what I mean?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Uh, uh, watch out for 'meaning.' See you.....whenever the artist decides to show up.
ASSISTANT CURATOR
No decidability, either, sir; spontaneity as in prehistoric times, so exciting, so 'primal.'
FADE OUT.
INT. NEARBY BAR - EVENING
Our reporter has a seething headache; he has sought what he thought was an old-fashioned refuge......
BARKEEP
Whad'll ya have, pal?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Double Glenfiddich, rocks, soda back, please!
BARKEEP
Tough day?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Hard to classify it,really, feel like my brain has been microwaved, then blowdried.
BARKEEP
Funny you should say that, that happens to be the name of my favorite painting up the street----been to see it?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
You're joking, right?
(he gulps his drink)
BARKEEP
No, it's a fact: I think I liked the way the artist vacates the picture plane, abolishing the primitive notions of dimensionality in favor of a vacuum of possibilities, all the non-effects imploding in a confluence of non-representational purity of soul, divine madness, that sort of implicate disorder within order, vice versa.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(turning around on his stool, seeking another place to sit)
So you actually understand that stuff?
BARKEEP
Understanding is a rationalistic pursuit, dead, really, look where 'thinking' has gotten the world, man; no, the superrationality of the soul is where it's at.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
You're not attributing the valid theories of Jung, et. Al. to that stuff, are you?
(he suddenly has a revelation, hits his forehead)
Haaaaa! Great, really, good for business, I get it-----I'll have another.
Just then a group of women enters the bar, crowding around Lionel, basically ignoring him......
BARKEEP
Ladies, what will it be?
FIRST WOMAN
Oh, I feel like celebrating, what about you all------champagne cocktails, all around!
BARKEEP
Saw the exhibit, eh?
FIRST WOMAN
Amazing! What viscerality, what effortless deconstruction of bourgeois....
(seems breathless)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Pardon me, I may need some help with the exhibit......
(he is cut off)
SECOND WOMAN
Why, that's it: 'man needs help', couldn't have put it better!
(laughing along with her girlfriends)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Are one of you the artist?
(he smiles knowingly)
THIRD WOMAN
Who wants to know?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
You see, I'm a reporter, doing a bit on the show for the 'Great Unwashed', and they won't allow pictures, kinda stuck.
FOURTH WOMAN
Perhaps I can help.......Alana James, but my friends call me 'Anima'.....I can speak for the Movement, I feel.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(he is shaken)
The Jungian term? Interesting.....I was lead to believe that she never makes appearances, or even talks about her work.
ANIMA
Where did you get that idea?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Folks at the show, really everyone, the security guard, Assistant Curator.....
(he is cut off)
ANIMA
That, my poor friend, is a standard technique used by new, mysterious artists....plant actors in the Museum, knowing they will get questions of all kinds: the key is to be elusive if you want to be famous, the actors just hype it through the media types who fall for it every time! Where are you from?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Actually, I work for a weekly on the Island; but I have done freelance for the Daily News.
ANIMA
The last show this artist did, in LA, he/she, no one really knows, dressed as a Guard, had the place filled for two weeks.
FIRST WOMAN
Girls, we got to go, don't want to be late!
BARKEEP
It's on the house, ladies!
(they all throw him kisses, touching his hand, handing him phone numbers---they leave noisily)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Hey, what's your secret?
BARKEEP
No secret, really-----they're the local hookers.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
So well-dressed, groomed, amazing.
BARKEEP
They work the artsy crowd, all into acting and costume; mostly, they do modeling work for avante garde artists around here.....easy money they say, no sex.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Boy, do I feel like a rube; have another.
BARKEEP
Don't sweat it----hell, for all we know, one of them might have been the artist!
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Where do you suppose they were off to?
BARKEEP
I heard the artist was holding an impromptu reception, don't know where though.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(excitedly)
When!? Oh, wait, he/she/it doesn't subscribe to time units, right?
BARKEEP
Where'd you get that; na, it's at 7 sharp, I heard, over at the Museum.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
That's in fifteen minutes, wow, what a break, thought I might have to come back tomorrow, sometime.
BARKEEP
Museum's closed tomorrow, renovations, after this show closes today, man.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(he finishes his drink in a hurry)
What's the damage?
(pulls out some cash)
BARKEEP
Free to members of the press, compliments of the Curator's office, said we should send over all you guys.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(under his breath)
I really have to get out more often.......
FADE TO:
EXT. METROPOLITAN ART GALLERY - LATER
Lionel is looking through the glass entryway, appears to be locked.....some of the girls from the bar are walking by quickly.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Scuse me ladies, where's the reception, you know, for the exhibit artist?
FIRST WOMAN
Oh, it's not here, it's somewhere else.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Are you going, can you tell me where?
SECOND WOMAN
That's the whole thing about the art world, never know!
(laughing with other woman)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
So the bartender was wrong?
FIRST WOMAN
Oh, him, he's new, never seen him before and we hang there often; we're trying to find the reception, not at eight anymore either....wanna come?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Sha.....sha...sure thing!
(he hops into a cab with the two women)
Where's 'Anima'?
(grinning broadly)
SECOND WOMAN
Who? Oh, her, don't know that well, never really hung out with her before, why?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Oh, nothing really, just had a hunch she might have been the artist.
SECOND WOMAN
Really think so, wow; this could be large for our modeling careers.
FIRST WOMAN
Hey, I know a guy who used to live with her, wanna ask him?
(to cab driver)
Driver, turn around and take us to Tribeca, I'll guide ya, don't worry.
INDIAN CABBIE
Will take us wery, wery lung time; you sure?
SECOND WOMAN
He's right, pull over; we'll jump on the subway, let's do it!
(they exit the cab)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Hey, wait for me!
(to the cabbie)
How much? Never mind, here.
(hands him a ten, exits)
SECOND WOMAN
Come on, train's pullin in; hurry!
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(he spys a poster prominently displaying the exhibition he just attended)
Let's get the next one, hell it's an express line.
(walks over to the poster)
Wouldn't ya know it, the part with the artist's name is torn off!
SECOND WOMAN
Oh, that's their trademark; remember what Anima said-----a gimmick to make people curious, like you!
FIRST WOMAN
Hey, look, some kid's sellin posters, maybe he knows....
(she walks over to him)
Are these from the show?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Where did you get these?
(he has asked the punked out kid)
Are these from the one person show at the Met?
(the kid doesn't respond)
FIRST WOMAN
I think he's one of them....
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Who, the Movement? I thought they didn't believe in action of any kind, just passive observation.
SECOND WOMAN
Well, maybe that's what he's doin now, not responding and all;
(to the kid)
Hey, kid, you a follower of the artist?
The express number two pulls in to lower Manhattan.
FIRST WOMAN
Hey, train's here, let's go!
(she pulls Lionel's coat)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
In a second; here, ten bucks for one of these posters.....
(he is handed one rolled up, kid says nothing)
CUT TO FEW MOMENTS LATER:
INT. NEW YORK SUBWAY TRAIN - MOMENTS LATER
They have just made it onto an almost empty train; it is 8 pm; Lionel notices the kid pull out a cell phone, talk into it as they pull away.....
LIONEL WADSWORTH
You see that, kid was talking.....
SECOND WOMAN
What, to who?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
On a cell phone, don't know; thought they were so passive?
FIRST WOMAN
Hey, we're not experts, ok, just hang in the art scene for the bucks.
SECOND WOMAN
Sides, we're not so sure there is a Movement, you know, probably just a rumor to hype the shows.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(opening the poster)
Wait a minute, this thing is blank!
SECOND WOMAN
Turn it over, goofy!
(she flips it)
Whoa, still blank, weird, man!
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Painfully weird, spent ten bucks on this......all the others on display had images of the show's paintings, sure of it.
SECOND WOMAN
It's a statement, you know-----'you think you can hold us in your hand, but you can't, it's not that simple, you must hold us in your mind's eye'.......haaaaaaa!
(she has amused herself only)
FIRST WOMAN
Hey, you're creepin me out, here, freaky, really, ok?
SECOND WOMAN
Here's our stop.
(they exit only to find Anima standing there)
ANIMA
Hey, great timing, going to the Reception, wanna come?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Hi, remember me? Where and when is it?
ANIMA
Gee, don't know, supposed to be invitation only, you know; oh, what the hell, just don't tell anyone you're press, ok, and, take off the tie, open your shirt.....that's it!
(she does the valet honors)
You know they've changed the time twice already, and the location; worried about crashers, show's so hot.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
You mean it was so hot.....it's closed out, right?
ANIMA
Poor baby, just don't have any clues at all; show's on for another week, held over, like a freakin great movie or Broadway show! C'mon, let's get going, only a few blocks.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
But the bartender....never mind. Fine, let's go.
(they climb the stairs,then walk four abreast)
Never got your names.....
(to the two others)
FIRST WOMAN
Angelique, friends just call me Angel though.
SECOND WOMAN
Me, um Clytemnestra, you know, like in ancient Greece, but um Italian, charmed.
(she thrusts out her hand to be kissed)
Hey, now yours....not Clark Kent is it?
(they giggle)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Lionel Wadsw......
(cut off)
SECOND WOMAN
No last names, keeps the mystery, don't ya think?
ANGELIQUE
Hey, we'll call you Lion, yeah?
CLYTEMNESTRA
Cool, totally cool; ok, when we walk in, we're all with Lion, kinda like his pride!
(the three girls laugh like demons)
Now look, this place'll be full of artsy types, so be cool, you know, like you're a writer; they know us, so you'll be the mystery man.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Fine, as far as it goes, but when they ask me what I've done, what then?
ANGELIQUE
No problema, just tell um you're latest is at the publisher's and they've asked you to keep it under wraps; other stuff, just tell em it's only available in Europe, in French!
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(catching himself falling into a vortex of the unknown)
Wait, wait; slow it down; all I want is to finally get some ID on this artiste, curiosity's killing me, kind of an imperative with me now.
CLYTEMNESTRA
(to the girls)
Sounds like a writer to me, huh?!
(more giggling)
You want a tranquilizer, got plenty?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Well, maybe just in case; thanks.
CLYTEMNESTRA
Well, we're here.
(she points to a four story brownstone in the Village)
FLASHBACK TO THAT AFTERNOON:
INT. METROPOLITAN ART GALLERY - DAY
Lionel is talking to the Assistant Curator, only she looks very different, like another person, like Anima!
ASSISTANT CURATOR
.......My Guess is the artist is almost certainly a woman.......
(she is cut off)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Wait, wait.....haven't we had this conv......deja vu, right? Remember?
ASSISTANT CURATOR
I beg your pardon? Are you feeling alright, may I get you some water?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
NO, NO, fine, think I am, anyway....
ASSISTANT CURATOR
(she motions to her assistant)
Ms. Hathaway, kindly fetch a cup of water, quickly. Come, sit down on the velvet bench with me, that's it.
Suddenly, he finds himself semi-nude with this woman, reclined on the velvet bench, amidst several people who are obliviously looking at the artwork, albeit passively, of course. Ms. Hathaway walks up nonchalantly with the water.
MS. HATHAWAY
Here we are, Mr........
(handing it to him, now fully dressed, sitting upright quite properly)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Thanks, not really necessary.....
(drinking, he opens his hand to find the tranquilizer tablet)
Where did this come from?
(to himself, though audible)
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Why, you obtained that from our guest artist, it's an extra-strength aspirin, the artist was most insistent when you stopped at a certain work and complained of a sharp migraine-like pain, don't you remember?
(she motions for Ms. Hathaway to leave)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
So, Clytemnestra is the artist! How clever, never would have guessed.....
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Who? That name, haven't heard it since college. Who is she?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Like to know myself; wait a minute, you know her, you were with her, and me on the subway......
(catches himself)
Sure it's just a resemblance, please pardon my behavior, including the bench.....
ASSISTANT CURATOR
I'm not following you.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Aren't you? Then how do you explain the absence of my tie, my shirt being open to the navel?
(he has just notice this about his person)
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Poor dear, you don't recall our staff nurse tending to you, sweating profusely.....
Just then, Anima is licking his chest, his neck of sweat, they are embracing in the museum private offices.
ANIMA
How are you feeling now, hmmmm?
There is a knock at the door; it is the senior Guard, Mr. O'Malley.
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Yes, who is it?
GUARD
Beggin your pardon, m'am, but the artist is about to leave, shall I ask um to wait?
ASSISTANT CURATOR
No, just tell the artist that I will see the artist later, at the Reception.
GUARD
Very good, m'am; shall I help you get dressed for tonight, then?
Lionel is bug-eyed, as if in a dream which has seemingly paralyzed him.
ASSISTANT CURATOR
Won't be necessary; still have some things to do here, and my Lion has consented to help me do them, goodnight.
(to Lionel)
Now, how about showing me some of that Dada technique, DaDa.....
CUT TO:
EXT. BROWNSTONE STAIRS IN GREENWICH VILLAGE - NIGHT
"Lion and his Pride" are climbing the stairs to a loud sounding apartment on the second floor.
ANIMA
Remember, we're an entourage for Lion here, got it?
(the girls agree)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Wait, this won't work.......
(just then they are at the opening door of a freak show)
HOST
Darlings, entre, entre, enchante, all; who is the handsome stranger?
ANIMA
You mean you don't recognize him, shame, shame!
HOST
Oh, him! WHy didn't you say so, everyone, everyone........
(suddenly the place becomes rather quiet)
This is you know who, and his lovely companions here to enoble our presence. Well, mingle, got to see about more stimulants....Julio, Julio.....
(he saunters down the hall)
Lionel is immediately abandoned by the girls, and is approached by a curious crowd.
OLDER MAN WEARING BERET
Ah, our guest of honor has arrived; everyone
(he points to Lionel over his head)
Please, tell us your particular view of postmodern modalities.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
I have no view.
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WITH SMALL DOG
Touche, indeed; you can't fool the master of deception. Tell, me do you do private commissions?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
I don't do anything in the arts.
TRANSGENDER PERSON, TALL
Let me have at him; they're so imposing, with all their questions, do you do controversial nudes? I'M very available.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
I'm not.
(there is admiring laughter)
I am concerned with your toilet only.
(he exits the room to continuous oohing and ahhing)
Lionel wastes no time in climbing out the window and down the fire escape; in the alley he finds Anima.
LIONEL WADSWORTH (cont'd)
What the hell are you doing here, and thanks alot for dumping me!
ANIMA
That's the thanks I get, you were holding court, you loved it, come on, didn't want to break your stride; besides, gotta get over the real reception, this one's for a recluse writer-turned-painter......must Be why they went for you; hell, their questions are one size fits all anyway, don't know squat. Let's go, wanna make the real reception.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Wait, wait; I'm beat, not used to all this action.
ANIMA
No problem, it's not till midnight, so we'll crash at my place, not far.
CUT TO FEW MOMENTS LATER:
INT. ANIMA'S APARTMENT - LATER
Lionel and Anima are on the smallish balcony, sipping wine.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Hey, call me crazy, but I'm having a real identity crisis, can you help? Who the hell am I, don't remember.
ANIMA
Not a problem; give me your hand.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
No, seriously, can you 'read' me?
ANIMA
Sure, a bit psychic at that; never bought that cub reporter bit, can tell you that.
(she is stroking his hand)
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Are you this responsive with the guys.....you know, you go out with?
ANIMA
Whoa, I get it: those girls at the bar and that bartender.....you thought I was a.......figures; I just walked in with them, that's all.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
(he is suddenly put in mind of their encounter at the Museum banquet)
You're not...., ok. WHat do you do......were you at the Museum yesterday by any chance??
ANIMA
Yes, there most days, I'm an Assistant Curator there, alternate with friend of mine, Jane Hathaway, why?
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Didn't we interact?
ANIMA
Jesus, was that you? Heard about it, some guy raising hell, blah, blah, blah, had a headache, sent Jane out.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Afraid I was a little off the wall, just got tired of the secrecy, all the artsy hiding from the public-----felt I was losing touch with my sensibilities. Just felt like I wanted to kill all that crap off, I guess.
ANIMA
Interesting, because that's why I wanted you to come here. I'm afraid you will have to go.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
What about the reception? Did I do or say something to upset you?
ANIMA
We both know the answer to that, you're at it: look, you said it yourself, moment ago, it's either you or me, and I vote for me.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
How would you 'go' anyway, it's your place, your name on the mailbox.....wait a minute, where do I live?
ANIMA
Not here anymore, I'm afraid; look, it's just time, that's all.
LIONEL WADSWORTH
Actually, I'm rather relieved, don't really like myself lately, maybe I never did. Mind if I leave quietly, don't want any more excitement....
ANIMA
Sure, your way.
Lionel gets up, smiles sadly, goes to the balcony and effortlessly hops over the rail. There is only silence outside, no scream, nothing.
CUT TO:
INT. METROPOLITAN ART GALLERY - AFTERNOON
It is the next day, Saturday; Alana James is busy receiving the guests in honor of her work.
ALANA JAMES
Welcome, all; so glad you could make it. After the tour, I'll be on hand to answer any questions I can about the exhibition.
(she walks over to a beaming Jane H.)
JANE HATHAWAY
Well, someone's like a new person; what's in the coffee?
ALANA JAMES
And how, feel like I shed some old wet clothes; say, really sorry about yesterday, was way out of line, just so despondent, felt weighed down, you know?
JANE HATHAWAY
Don't be silly; Mr. O'Malley and I and everyone knew it was not you, so we played along. Actually kind of fun, although you look much better in that lovely gown.
(they laugh amiably)
Although, you really did lose it near the self-portrait, the one with the......
(cut off)
ALANA JAMES
Giant Squid! As in Id; it was that painting that put me in the funk, knew there was a predatory blob in my psyche, very depressing. When you gave me that tranquilizer, I knew what I had to do.......
MR. O'MALLEY
Ladies, they're asking for you; have lots of questions about one painting in particular.......
ALANA JAMES
Right, think I can handle it this time, now that I've been liberated!
FADE OUT.