It was what I was going to say next. When a spouse doesn't fulfill all our needs (and it is unfair to expect them to) then we have outlets for fulfilling those needs. My daughter asked me, when she was ready to take that final step of marriage, how she was going to be able to look past a couple of things that irritated her about her fiance. I advised her to make a list of all his good qualities and the bad. Her main concern was that he doesn't talk--that she had to drag conversation out of him. He was a homebody. She was afraid that she'd become bored with him for not wanting to party and socialize with her crazy friends from work. I told her she had to weigh his good qualities against that one major flaw in her eyes and if that was the most important thng to her, then she shouldn't marry him, but if she thought she could still get together with her crazy friends and do all the goofy things she liked to do while building a life with him, then go for it. I told her that in my early years of marriage, when hubby and I had our problems getting along, many of my friends talked about their perfect husbands and their perfect lives, but guess what? They're all divorced. I told her there was a lot to be said for having a friend for a husband above all else.
And truthfully? Part of me wanted to tell her to RUN!! Mainly that youthful part of me that longed for adventures not lived.
