Special thanks to PRev for bringing this to the fore.
THE FIRST BOOK OF APES, CALLED KINESIS
1 At the beginning there was nothing but a big ball of gases.
2 For a long time it just sat there in the nothingness, getting hotter and hotter.
3 Then it exploded.
4 The explosion created the stars, which were burning bubbles of the first big ball of gases.
5 The stars threw out chunks of debris that cooled and became planets.
6 The planets spun round and became round.
1 In a remote and insignificant sector of the universe, one planet fell into an orbit around its star that by accident made its surface conducive to the molecular formations known as amino acids.
2 Neither so close to their planet's star as to be incinerated, nor so far from it as to be frozen, the acids survived,
3 And proceeded to combine into new molecules of a complexity advanced enough to permit change and growth,
4 And meiosis, and the development of certain other transient characteristics of a generic nature classifiable as life.