Between the two of you, I'm liable to laugh my way into a hernia
May 30 2000, 9:36 PM
Firstly, Kohain, that was absolutely hilarious. I especially like the one where Clinton is being managed by Mao. Its so true that I had to laugh. Just as I was about to recover, I happened to glance at the one with Clinton demonstrating cigar techniques and totally lost it.
Feeling that I needed to clear my mind, I then checked out God version 6.0. It was funny, but altogether true, so I checked into intensive care. Having been heavily sedated earlier, i was able to type this tiny blurb. Don't tell the nurse O.k.? I'm hoping to get her number when I come to fully... Hmm. now that I think about, her twin sister wasn't bad either.
"Between the two of you, I'm liable to laugh my way into a hernia" I thought that was our job...
Seriously, these are the things that help break up the insanity of this world.. I think the best week for laughter was when PETA told us to switch from milk to beer because milk is bad for the human body, but even more important because its mean to the cute cows..
Here is another one of my favorites..
A Dutch doctor (Dr. Rebecca Gomparts) is planning to offer abortion services aboard a ship for women in third- world countries where abortion is not available or outlawed. The women will be picked up in dock and the abortion will be done outside the territorial waters of the country. The ship will be called "Sea Change" Financing for this travelling butcher shop would come from the Dutch government and the U.S. based Ford Foundation. Gomparts was ship doctor on Tainbow Warrior (Greenpeace environmental ship) Gomparts says she does'nt have a moral problem with abortion, it is assistance, that's it. A fetus that can't survive on it's own outside the mother's womb is in my view not a child."
It seems to me that abortion values hinge on the definition of "human life". Exactly when does it begin? Is a sperm swimming up a vagina human life? Is the egg waiting for the sperm? Does human life begin when the egg attaches to the wall of the uterus? Or after the fetus has lost it's tail? Or when the infant is born? Or maybe it's when the umbilical cord is cut? Perhaps it isn't until it gets a job and votes? My instinct is that human life begins when the umbilical cord is cut or the placenta is ejected - thus marking the natural separation of mother and child. Until then, it is part of the mother - just like tonsils or an appendix. Hmmm?
My personal and religious view is that life begins at the moment of conception. At the point of conception a fetus meets all the scientiffic criteria to be considered life. To say that the baby is part of the womens body is also false. The mother and baby have different DNA. Yes the baby depends on the mother for it's survival, but this continues long after the umbillical cord has been cut. Would you consider siamese twins to be one person or two?
Abortion was once justified using evolution. The theory was that because a baby starts out as a single cell, then changes to a tadpole like creature with a tail, before growing arms and legs, that humans retrace all the steps of evolution before birth. That means your not killing a human, your killing a tadpole or a monkey. Of course modern science has proven this to be false, yet the abortions continue.
In conclusion, a fetus is alive, and it is human. It is not fully developed but either are teenagers and most people would have a problem with murdering them.
Are you serious? Drinking milk is a hidden manifestation of cow anger? Help me Help me I can't take it.:)
The letter to the apostle Paul more or less sums up why I and so many others, stopped attending church - the church has stopped attending to God's will. Instead, today's church seems to bend with the winds of change.
For example, the United Church has endorsed homosexuality and many individual churches are quite o.k. with abortion and, or feel it is wrong to condemn any sort of deviant behaviour.
And, as the winds blow, ministers shake their heads wondering where their congregations are going. My guess would be wherever the wind takes them...
I grew up in the church you mention, and found it to be too confused for me to attend when I returned from the Army.
After several later tries at finding religion with purpose, (and 2 divorces later)I found one with principles which remain rock solid.
Today I was reading a few passages of scripture which pointed directly at the history of man being repeated today in this country.
21 And behold, now I say unto you, ye cannot dethrone an iniquitous king save it be through much contention, and the shedding of much blood.
22 For behold, he has his friends in iniquity, and he keepeth his guards about him; and he teareth up the laws of those who have reigned in righteousness before him; and he trampleth under his feet the commandments of God;
23 And he enacteth laws, and sendeth them forth among his people, yea, laws after the manner of his own wickedness; and whosoever doth not obey his laws he causeth to be destroyed; and whosoever doth rebel against him he will send his armies against them to war, and if he can he will destroy them; and thus an unrighteous king doth pervert the ways of all righteousness.
24 And now behold I say unto you, it is not expedient that such abominations should come upon you.
25 Therefore, choose you by the voice of this people, judges, that ye may be judged according to the laws which have been given you by our fathers, which are correct, and which were given them by the hand of the Lord.
26 Now it is not common that the voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right; therefore this shall ye observe and make it your law--to do your business by the voice of the people.
27 And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land.
Everyone likes to push broad-mindedness, tolerance and charity, how nice. Christians need some intolerance in certain areas. The word tolerant means "liberal, broad-minded, willing to put up with beliefs which are opposed to one's own convictions. This tolerance implies a compromise of convictions and a yielding of ground on important issues. We are tolerant about divorce, immorality, crime, godlessness, homosexuals,pronography,abortion, corruption etc. The church preaches a social gospel so as not to offend anyone. Jesus spoke of two roads in life. The open one lacking in faith, convictions, morals. Easy, careless, popular and in vogue. The way of the world. The other way, the narrow gate.. He said, I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. (John 14:6) We need to be intolerant toward hypocrisy and to choose whom we will serve. Counterfeit Christians only tear down. Church people need to stop playing church and start living what they profess. Jesus said "Do not be like the hypocrites" (Matthew 6:16) Stand up, speak out, be counted. If we refuse to become involved to fight against what is wrong then we are responsible for the situation as it developes because we sit back and do nothing. We should be outraged at what is going down in society today. We need to reach out and claim the power of Almighty God for the cleansing and healing of our country. God said, "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14)
