Political explanation for "Why did the chicken cross the road?"


Why did that chicken cross the road?


BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time
for a change! That chicken wanted change!


JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets
the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me.


GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.


DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?


COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?


JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.


DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current
problems before adding new problems.


OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,

but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.


JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the
other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and
as simple as that.


GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

JOHN HOLDEMAN: We believe it was the one true chicken. You'd have to be one of us to understand that it chose to cross the road to keep itself pure from the worldly influence of the other chickens.

Now I have to watch for chickens on the road? I thought watching for deer, Moose, and Bear was enough. I don't think I have ever hit a chicken.

>>JOHN HOLDEMAN: We believe it was the one true chicken. You'd have to be one of us to understand that it chose to cross the road to keep itself pure from the worldly influence of the other chickens.<<

Well, but did it REALLY happen that way?

Maybe the chicken crossed the road to attend the reception for the two homosexual Anglican priests that got married in England.

Maybe. Congratulations to the newlyweds!

So Steven, how do they figure out the Best Man and kissing the bride part of the ceremony?

The Holdemans have had that figured out for years. Their men have kissed each other on the lips for as long as I remember.

When the French men kiss each other on the cheek, does that mean they are Holdeman?

I’m wouldn’t be shocked if the Holdmans passed a rule that as the men are kissing each other on the lips, that they also, at the same time, reach around and give each other a little squeeze on the ass cheek. Why not? It wouldn’t be any more intimate than lip kissing.

>>JOHN HOLDEMAN: We believe it was the one true chicken. You'd have to be one of us to understand that it chose to cross the road to keep itself pure from the worldly influence of the other chickens.<<

Maybe the chicken had a flair for thinking on his own and was tired of being a clone and did not want to be the one chosen to be in the eternal BBQ.

>When the French men kiss each other on the cheek, does that mean they are Holdeman?<

Which cheek?




♪*•.¸¸¸♥¸¸¸.•*♪

>>When the French men kiss each other on the cheek, does that mean they are Holdeman?<<

Another thing, why do you suppose Hs hold men’s meetings periodically? It certainly isn’t because they’re smoking cigars an sipping brandy.

Gee sirius, other then the First Lesbian Church of Voodoo located down in San Fran california, I haven't heard of any church that doesn't have a men's club or men's meeting. What could it mean? Hmmmm

>>I haven't heard of any church that doesn't have a men's club or men's meeting.<<

Okay, Brent R, maybe you’re right. What do I know, I’ve only belonged to one church in my life.