I just talked to a friend that just found out she was exed. someone called her on the phone weeks after and said "By the way did you know?"
both she and her son were exed. they were not notified of the meeting nor were they notified by letter. This is in direct conflict to your own rules of conduct. I don't have time to look it up right now as to which book it is in and the exact wording. I did when I was exed and did not recieve a letter. Your rules state that all those expelled are to recieve a letter stating the charges and why the expulsion took place. It does not say that if the person is there they don't get a letter. It does not say that their family members that are present are supposed to notify them. It is very direct and says all are to be notified in writing.
If you do not have the guts to follow your own decrees then you must also recognise that none of us that have not recieved your statements are required to participate in your avoidance. You are making it null and void and unsustainable by your own lack of proper acknowledgement. if you are really right like you say you are then you should have no fear of your words coming back to bite you. There is a real problem here that you are going to have to address soon because the way it stands, you have no right to avoid us in anyway nor to treat us with the disrespect especially in public gatherings like weddings and funerals that you do. Some of you in high places might want to look into the legal ramifications of your actions and your stand on this subject before someone crosses your path in ways that bite you hard.
LL

Locklady, in a way this ties in with the repentance thread. I'm curious,, how long were they
on repentance? And was it done in accordance with the PERFECT way Xep says its done over on
the repentance thread ?

>>they were not notified of the meeting nor were they notified by letter.<<

I know of a situation where the person who was to be spiritually executed, uh, I mean excommunicated, did not attend his execution and was informed some time later by his aged grandmother who had been instructed by the bushmasters to be the one to inform him of his spiritual stoning.

And yes, Locklady, although I can't remember chapter and verse where the COGICM Inc. is required by its own rules to inform, in writing, those excommunicated of their change in membership status, it is there. I believe it is in the 'Ministers' Handbook' or whatever it's now called.

Come on, since when do we abide by the written word as in stone, we have grace especially when it benefits us to have it.

yeah, its called Liberty. I have heard this in SS discussions before. We have leeway to follow our inner direction in these small things. Thats evidence of having liberty.

WE got a letter. Since it has been posted on the site, most of you have seen it.Of course that was close to 30 years ago. Many things have changed. calleodutPTL

Is there somewhere/one you can write to get your "letter"??

I never received a formal excomm notification and thought it might be nice to have one.

I phoned someone whom I thought would remember (they did attend that meeting) but they can't remember why I was exed and it doesn't seem to be documented.

(how am I supposed to repent if they don't know why I was exed?)

>>(how am I supposed to repent if they don't know why I was exed?)<<

Peter: That's not necessary to know details like that. You just need to lay everything down, grovel on your hands and knees, and learn to love Big Brother, uh, I mean the Holdy Mother. (Sorry about that slip - I was just reading George Orwell's '1984' and got confused momentarily).

Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.



(the last paragraph of 1984 by George Orwell)

>>I never received a formal excomm notification and thought it might be nice to have one.<<

Peter, I don't recall a letter either.

People are selling all kinds of things on ebay these days although an excommunication letter probably wouldn't bring much. Either that or a guy could get it copied onto a roll of ass wipe and put it to good use for something.

I never got a letter (I was privileged to get a phone call though) and when I asked about getting one I was told that they don't do that anymore since some people have taken the liberty to post them on public forums . I don't know what they should be ashamed of. They are the epitomy of truth and excommunication is the highest witness to that so everyone should see their practices. I guess though if they are seen in a bad light (remember, it doesn't matter if our reputation goes to hell) then they can just fudge the rules a little to save their skin. I can't figure out why they are so adamant about holding the avoidance if they are ashamed to write on paper the reason we are being avoided. This is one, individual, simple thing (besides many others)that I'm sure would never hold up in a court of law. I would think that would be one of the requirements by law to give a written dismissal.

**And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.**

I just want to clarify a few issues here. I'll start by saying that I agree that they should have been "officially notified". That out of the way Ill just have to say that I doubt either of them was at all surprised or even put out by it. They have both stated that they no longer wish to be members and I don't think I have seen either in church for at least a year. I have personally visited with her and she told me personally that she was done with the church. I have the highest regards for her personally but they both severed their own church membership. The meeting only made formal what they had already done.

I'm a traveling man!

 

edited for my bad spelling

Would have it made any difference if any of you been officially notified that you were expelled? It wouldn't have made any difference to me one way or the other. We moved on with our lives. calledoutPTL

CO, do you know for a fact that it would have made no difference? You are speaking only from the side of the experience that you actually experienced and don't know how you would have felt otherwise. I think the ordeal of excommunication is somewhat related to the grieving process. Some people find it very hard to move on without a physical closure to their grief such as a funeral, or somebody actually saying they don't love you, etc. I don't see how you can know you would have moved on just as easily if you hadn't been officially notified and I can't say I would have moved on sooner if I had been officially notified by letter. We don't know what the 'other' scenario would have been like. Maybe the (subconscious) reason you could move on in your lives is 'because' you had that closure. Also, humans tend to forget things. Even now, only a few years after being ex'd, I'm sure there are those who have no idea why I was ex'd but if it was all in writing, it wouldn't all be forgotten so soon, and just maybe there would be a chance to reason with those who cast us out if we had some written proof as to why we are so vile. Spiritually, it should make no diffence whether we are specifically notified or not, but as humans, we sometimes react differently as to whether there is closure or not.

**And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.**

Tirone those are good points.

My reason for thinking it might be good to have it in writing is more humor than needful. I just think it's funny that people would think I'm vile and refuse to fellowship with me when they don't even know the reason why!

Tirone, maybe it was that we knew our marching orders from the King of Kings that made it easier for us instead of whether we got a letter or not. We left in our hearts before the church even knew what was happening. Everyone knew we didn't really care if they thought we were right or not. Did we get harressed? You bet we did! Probably more then most on the forum. calleodutPTL

Wasn't the continue avoidance a closure of some kind? Or the fact that you wasn't deep enough to go back when you thought you were,that is if you wanted to? calledoutPTL

Or is it that a person isn't ready to close? calledoutPTL

<I just want to clarify a few issues here. I'll start by saying that I agree that they should have been "officially notified". That out of the way Ill just have to say that I doubt either of them was at all surprised or even put out by it. They have both stated that they no longer wish to be members and I don't think I have seen either in church for at least a year. I have personally visited with her and she told me personally that she was done with the church. I have the highest regards for her personally but they both severed their own church membership. The meeting only made formal what they had already done.>

Does that change in anyway the fact that a church that lives by the rules should also act on their own rules? or the fact that the main reason she left was because there are 2 sets of rules, ones for us outside folks to live by and one for those raised there to live by, one for married folks and one for single ones, one for widows and one for divorcees. One for the stay at home moms with husbands to support them and another for the moms that had no one to support them and must work for a living. and especially another set just for the folks that had the audacity to associate with me?

The meeting only made formal what they had already done.

Oh, the loving arrogance. So they left, leave them go unhindered. But no, "we" must have the last say. No one leaves "us". It is "our" decision who stays and who leaves.

It would be humorous if it wasn't so pathetic.