Gentle Thoughts for Today--
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then , you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. When you are dissatisfied with aging and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra..

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement ...

He who hesitates is probably right.

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

A penny saved is a government oversight.


From another forum, Lockman

I understand way too much of that "old people" stuff..I wish I didn't get any of those jokes..

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.


As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...


Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.


If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.


I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(various quotes from various sources)