My older brother passed away last night.

A doctor told him about a month ago that he only had about 4 to 6 months left to live do to cancer. He was doing ok two weeks ago, because he drove up to North Carolina by himself to see his ex-wife who was the love of his life.

And then just the other day he started going down fast, and he was put in the hospital. I had planned on seeing him this Wednesday. I was going to drive up to where he lived, which is about 5 hours from where I live. But when I heard that he took a turn towards the worse, I decided to call in to work last night (I work the overnight shift) and tell them that I had to go see my brother before he died.

So, I started driving up to see him yesterday evening. But after I drove for 2 1/2 hours, I got a phone call from my mom who told me that my brother had just died. So, I turned around and drove back home. My daughter, who lives in Kansas is flying in tomorrow, and we will be driving up to visit my mom who lives in the same town as where my brother lived.

My brother and I didn't get along very well in life, so we did not see each other very much. I wanted so very much to see him before he died to let him know that I didn't hold anything against him. I was told that when he heard that I was coming up to see him on Wednesday, he was very happy about it, and that he wanted to see me too.

I realize that I'm not very popular on the forum, but I just wanted to share my hurt with someone. It may seem strange, but I loved my brother even though we didn't get along in life. I really wanted to see him before he died.

Jerry:

You have my condolences. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you to see your brother before he died. Take care.

Jerry Please accept our condolences. It is not easy to lose a loved one no matter what the circumstances and what you are going thru makes it even more difficult. we are sorry that you have to go thru that. the Locks

Jerry, I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate to your situation. I only have one brother, and we are not very close. But the bond of our genetics and our common family experience is strong.

I wish you could have seen him before he passed away. Take consolation in the knowledge that you tried.

Thinking of you at this very difficult time, and wishing you the very best.

I'm thinking of you, Jerry.

Sorry about your loss, Jerry.

Jerry, my thoughts are with you and your family. (and frankly, you are one of the favorites on this forum )

I'm sorry Jerry!

Me too Jerry, losing a brother is horrible, and I can't hardly enter into it in the idea of having a strained relationship.

My prayers and condolences.

"Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Love ya, Jerry...

Jerry
You have my sympathy. Have also lost a brother to cancer, about 11 years ago but it still leaves a gap.
My prayers will be you.
Healthie

Jerry - I'm very sorry to hear about your brother's death. I am also sorry to hear that you did not get to see him before he died - but I am pleased to hear that he knew of your intent to be there - that in itself may have been what he needed to know/hear to let go of the fight, as is so often the case.

I also firmly believe that the pains that we are left with of words unsaid, deeds undone or goodbyes not finished are normal - but completely earthly pains and that our loved ones - even when we don't love them much all the time! - are not locked into a purely verbal method of communication and come to know our hearts.

God Bless you during this time - and bring you peace.

Thank you all for your kind responses, especially those of you who I have offended in the past.

I spent most of the day yesterday crying. We all knew that he was going to die, and I can accept that reality, but not getting to talk to him before he died is the most disappointing thing that has ever happened in my life. I have to hold on to just knowing that my brother knew that I was coming to see him, which means he knew that I cared for him.

My brother's desire was to be cremated, and he did not want a memorial service. His ashes will be given to his ex-wife. One thing that I am very grateful for is that he was able to see and talk with his ex-wife before he died. I know that meant a lot to both him and her.

Today I am picking up my daughter at the airport, and we will be driving up to see my mom. I think that my mom is going to have a real hard time dealing with the loss of her firstborn son, especially after all who are coming to visit her are gone.

Praying for you and your family Jerry.

peace Dale

Jerry, you have my symphathy as well. Since I recently lost my oldest sister, I can relate to your loss. ( We buried my sister 2 weeks ago.) I had got to see my sister about a week before she died which I am thankful for. She lived 2 and 1/2 hours away. She was diagnosed with cancer last July. The past 2 months we got to see her about every other week. Avoidance causes a certain element of strain, but we made every effort to keep in contact. calledoutPTL

Jerry.. may God comfort you and your family.

Jerry, I am sorry. I wish you comfort from God and friends.