4 steps to transforming your negative self-talk into an inner
coach.
by Emmanuel SEGUI
© 2006 Emmanuel SEGUI - All rights reserved
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Your thoughts have a powerful effect on you. They affect your
attitude, your physiology, and your motivation to act. Your
negative thoughts actually control your behavior. They can make
you stutter, spill things, forget your lines or breathe
shallowly.
Research indicates that the average person talks to himself or
herself about 50,000 times a day. According to psychological
researchers, it is 80% negative; things such as I shouldn't have
said that .... They don't like me... I don't like the way my
hair looks today… I can't dance… I'll never be a good skater…,
I'm not a speaker… I'll never lose this weight… I can't ever
seem to get organized… I'm always late.
We also know from lie-detector tests that your body reacts to
your thoughts. These physiological changes, such as heart rate
and breathing rate, occur when you're lying but also in reaction
to every thought you think. Every cell in your body is affected
by every thought you have.
Negative thoughts affects your body negatively, weakening you.
Positive thoughts affect your body in a positive way, making you
more relaxed, centered and alert. It is your job to control and
master your thoughts. You are 100% responsible.
But there is a core principle you need to understand about self-
criticism and self-judgment: It is always motivated by love and
has always some positive intention or positive goal attached to
it. Now, this positive intention doesn't show immediately. It
needs some reflection at first. But with some practice, like
everything else, it comes within seconds and here comes the
change.
Here are four steps you will need to take to master your
thoughts and to transform your inner critic into an inner coach.
1. It's Time to Step Back
The first step of any strategy to change your emotions or
personal history is to step back and reflect on what is going on
inside of you. It is as if you were stepping back from your
thinking and were looking at it. By doing this you go to a
higher psychological level where change can take place. As
Albert Einstein said,"The significant problems we face cannot be
solved by the same level of thinking that created them."
2. Look for the positive intention.
One of the most magnificent beauties of the human mind is self-
reflexivity. This means that you not only think about an event,
but you think about what you just thought about that specific
event. It's like layers of thoughts that are formed at the back
of your mind in a fraction of a second. Now, you can peel away
the layers and discover the positive intention of that negative
thought by asking yourself the following question: "What is the
good or the positive intention of that part of me that just
thought …" or "What does that part of me that just thought…
wants that is good for me". Were you able to find it?
3. Feel how your emotions are changing.
When you find that positive intention, you discover a whole new
part of you. The part that wants you to be better, to feel
better and to be everything you're capable of. That way, your
self-esteem increases, you have more confidence in yourself, you
trust yourself more and you achieve more.
4. Thank yourself for caring about you.
Now, you're going to play the appreciation game and that is to
thank yourself for the beautiful human being you are. Because
you understand your unique value, your importance in the world,
you can more quickly and more easily go for your dreams and live
a more prosperous life.
Negative thoughts happen to everybody. The difference between a
successful person and another is just that he or she has learned
how to master his thoughts and emotions. With these four little
but powerful steps, you can beat your negative thoughts and
therefore your negative emotions. You will radiate more energy
to accomplish your goals and you will function more efficiently.
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