phone in and tell them you've lost your hands

become an MP

or a student

phone in and thank them very muchly for letting you have the day off. only you will need to hang up before they can say anything back

get a mate to phone in a demand a ransom for you to come to work.

flush the toilet whilst saying your stuck on the m25

Get your mate to phone in and say you saw bros on tv when you woke up and are too traumatised to go in.

just dont go in, then when they ask why you werent in reply 'fate' very nonchalantly. what can they say?

everytime you finish your coffee, go and make another one

Phone in and tell them Jeeves told you that you shouldn't go in and that Jeeves is always right.

spend an hour or two sharpening a pencil

Do whatever you want to do, then when the boss comes around rustle some papers and phone the talking clock and talk some business jargon. Then shout at the work experience person to make you some coffee. When the boss looks suitably impressed and leaves, get back to whatever you were doing before.

have an afair with your boss a la bridget jones...

if you just want to be late: tell them (when you eventually show up) that you were searching your whole house for your tube card but then you found out that your dog/cat/rabbit/hamster/whatever ate it.






"scottish, sheffield, and now jarvis cocker!"
http://www.myspace.com/caz_libertine

a badger snuck through the kitchen door and attacked you

say youre an alcoholic. and come in wasted allthetime and dont work. i think theresupposed to help you and not sack you

Phone in crying, all you have to say is your name then they will tell you not to come in your obvoiusly not up to it.

you bunch of pitiful skivers!

go in and walk round everyone's desk saying

'whats that noise? do you hear that? its okay its gone now'

'whats that noise? do you hear that? its okay its gone now'

'whats that noise? do you hear that? its okay its gone now'

'whats that noise? do you hear that? its okay its gone now'

'whats that noise? do you hear that? its okay its gone now'

haha.........or.....
phone up work telling everyone in your office you see dead people... that takes a good couple of weeks to cure!

Go in sit down, close you eyes go to sleep and then when you get woken up say what eh? Oh no its happened again hasn't it? My narcolepsy has come back. I don;t think i can drive fork lifts until i get more medication and it takes a week to come in!

create a 'yoda' corner.

dress up in a sheet and sit cross legged and offer proverbs to everyone that passes

ask everyone if they've found jesus. tell them all about your personal relationship with him

mwaha


ha

Become unemployed like me and then you wont have to avoid work!

yeah i'm unemployed too, i shouldnt have posted

After you've been given your job just never turn up, you wont be reconised so no one will notice you have gone, yet your still on the payroll. GENIUS

Tell your boss you have a problem with your eyes......
You cant see yourself working today ;)

Tell your manager that you've been on radio one and so now that your famous you expect someone else to do all the work for you....

tell your manager that you sort of know someone who's band were played on radio 1 and since he;s famous now, you're famous by accosation therefore you'll be expecting someone else to do all the work for you...