It's coming along pretty good, I think it would be good to use better grammer, try typing it in microsoft word. That's what I do, then I copy and paste it. Also think about giving more detail in which person is which, like which was the girl, changing the names may help. I can't wait for the next part. I get the darkness, but not the ice. Hopefully I will be filled in next time.

Also, I believe that T for teen is the best rating.