On the 24th of October 2005 my wife died suddenly, I came downstairs and found her in the kitchen, she had died whilst I was asleep. My wife was 51 years old, I am 64, just doesn't seem right that I am still here, and where are your friends when you need them, all the talk, I have nothing left. What do I do now, help please.

Alan, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. It must have been a terrible shock for you. You are still here. You will find you have a lot of inner strength to draw on.You must not feel guilty. My father passed away earlier this year and my parents had been married 37 years. I understand the loneliness you must feel. And the intense heartache People don't know how to react to someone who has been bereaved but I don't think it means they don't care. Those you thought would be there for you aren't but you will be surprised by those who are there for you. I think people can't possibly understand it in the same way that people can't understand the diversity of emotions you feel when you have your first child. do you know any one who has been through a similar experience who can understand your pain? I'm not particularly religious but at times like this a priest, vicar or rabbi may help you to make sense of it all. My mother has found this sort of environment very supportive ( she is not particularly religious either.)

Alan,
I too lost a partner, my husband of 38 years passed away very suddenly in April last year and I still feel lost and very alone. The bereavevement group has been a great comfort to me it's people who have lost partners, children and parents so there is always someone who will understand your pain. I spent many years in and out of hospital and we always assumed Ty would be left but it was not to be so I am trying to pick up the pieces and muddle on alone but with the help and support of the group. bereavementuk@yahoo.com
Kind regards
Liz