My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer just over a year ago, after unsuccessful radiotherapy she gradually deteriorated, ending up in a hospice and eventually a nursing home where she died in sept and so much suffering. She was 65 and I am only 20 so I feel robbed of the time I should've had with my mum, I had her first granchild in march, so I am so grateful she hung on long enough to see her first few months, but when I think of all the things she's going to miss, her first christmas, birthday, steps etc it tears me up inside. I've found grieving for her really strange as it's only really started to sink in the past few weeks, and it feels like it did just after she died and I'm finding it hard to cope again. How does everyone deal with their loss as I'm really struggling.

Sarah

Hello
I lost my mom nearly 4 years ago now, and I can honestly say that it took me the best part of 3 years to do my greiving, when I spoke to other people they also said that it took about 3 years. We will never get over losing anyone, but a daughter/mother relationship is a very special one, and I think that makes it even harder to cope with. I think the first year is very difficult, and I think it does hit you more once you have accepted that they have gone. Time is a great healer, (I know this sounds like a cliche) but it honestly does get better. You will start to think about the good times you had with her more and more, and laugh about funny things that you did together. I dont think about my mom all the time now, but she is always there in the back of my mind. I hope you start to feel better soon.

x