I am writing this message for anybody out there who has suffered the loss of a child.You know how it goes these things never happen to you,you only read about this and then suddenly bang its you that it has happened to.
This is where i found myself only 5 months ago, nine month pregnant one minute the next my sweet baby had died.
The shock horror it must wrong and all the confussion.Then the drama of havin to deleiver it was so tramatic it still haunts me now.
This with all the questions of why? the guilt was it me should i have done something different that day,went to hospital earlier,lay differently etc etc.
I could list loads of questions unanswered but i find that there is no answers.Can you ever fully recover my heart aches for the cry inever heard the cuddle inever recieved the ache that haunts me inside.
I thankfully have a little boy but i feel sad for him as mummy does not have all the answers to his questions. Is it normall to want another baby i am so scared this could happen again.
Sometimes when the house is quiet thoughts and questions race through my mind,how old he would be now,his first smile,not seeing him crawl and the thought that he has gone forever for me is so painfull.Has anyone felt the same things,or thought the same or shared the same experience.

Hi Angela,

Only 3 weeks ago I lost our identical triplet boys, we were only 20 weeks into the pregnancy but it was so exciting to be expecting 3 babies and so rare as they were natural conception (no IVF).
Everything had been fine until I went for a scan and one of the babies had lots of amniotic fluid around him, they drained 2 litres by amneocentisis the following day because if they hadn't they thought that I would go into labour as I was so big. Everything seemed to be fine for a couple of days but then one night I started to bleed.
We went to the hospital and I was in preterm labour, our babies were delivered naturally and although we had been told they probably wouldn't survive the birth they all did. Robert lived for only a minute but Nigel lived for an hour and Stephen for 37 minutes.
At the moment I am a bit scared that the loss hasn't really hit me as I was crying all the time at first but now I just feel a bit numb, as if it hasn't really happened.
We will never really know what caused it as we didn't want them to do any tests on our little boys, it could have been the amneocentisis, it could have been that one of the boys wasn't very well or it could have been that my body just couldn't cope with the strain of supporting them all.
I don't understand why either and I also already share the emotion of if we try again will it happen all over again as I don't think that I could cope with it.

I hope you don't mind me emailing you.

Liz

i hope you dont mind me e mailing you in reply to your message i havnt had a still born baby but i have lost a child my little boy was born at 25 weeks and fought very bravely for 8 months where the medical team failed him and we had to say goodbye its been nearly 2 years but the hurt feels just like yesterday i think of him every day and still shed tears what i want to say is that it gets easier to deal with as the weeks go on you still hurt youll still cry but it gets easier i think your a very brave lady and all you need is time i went on to have another healthy full term baby boy called logan also if you feel the need to talk sound off cry please please feel free to e mail or if wanted i could give you my no for you to call im very good at listening x x x x x anji