My dad died on 8th February 2006, we only found out five weeks before that he had stomach cancer. It was like being on a rollercoaster within five weeks he had gone to the hospital for tests for indigestion, got told he had cancer, then got told they could not operate but would offer chemo and then before he could start the treatment he died.
I miss him so much I just want to see him again and say goodbye and tell him I love him. I feel that this hasn't really happened, every time I go to my parents house his car is on the drive and everything is just as if he has gone out to work or somewhere. I'm hoping that putting it down in words is going to help me come to terms with this, I have read some of the messages and have realised I'm not the only one going through this.
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Thank you for replying to my message. It's reassuring to know that there are others out there that understand how I am feeling.
I have been off work for the Easter holidays and have found that I am really struggling with my emotions at the moment, especially on Wednesday when I found myself reliving everything that happened 9 weeks ago.
I am also feeling really guilty at the way I feel about my mom - as the only girl in the family I feel that I have taken over all the responsibility for her taking her shopping, trying to spend all my spare time with her. I also feel really angry with my two brothers as they seem to be getting on with their lives - I know they are still hurting but sometimes I wish they would just spend some time with mom or just ask if there is something that she would like doing.
Once again thanks for responding to my message - it really is helping me to put my feeling down in words, sometimes it's hard to tell the people close to you and I'm scared of hurting their feelings.
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I lost my dad to Pancreatic Cancer on the 15th of Feb and have had to get used to living alone with my mum in our family home. There used to be four people living in our house but now there are only two, this happened over night for me as my sister moved out of home the day before my dad went into hospital. I never dreamed that my dad would die only a few weeks later. I felt so alone. I had to deal with not only my own grief but my mums too. I feel a slight resentment towards my sister as she has her own space now she is living away from home and can pick and choose when she comes round and spends time with mum.
I do feel that things are beginning to feel less stressful as time goes on. I have the hope that things will work themselves out and that I wont be feeling this responsibilty forever. Mum is getting much more stronger and is seeing her friends all the time which helps me to have some time to myself. I never thought things could improve but they have, you just need to give it some time.
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