Hi everyone,
I am so glad to have found here, my heart is in shreds!
On feb 4th my fil who was more of a dad to me than my own dad ever was passed away and I am just feeling so lonely.
I am a mum of 3 (nearly 4) and we had such a special relationship that i do feel lucky to have known him and been one of his girls but how do I do this????
I am so tired, how can I cope with the fact I will never see him old his granddaughter after he had such a wonderful relationship with all of his grandchildren???
He was only 59 and such a wonderful spirit of a man and other than my husband was the only ever man to treat me right, with dignity and respect and now here I am , lost and wondering how the hell I can face the world.
I have been pushed out of most of the arrangements as although we did have a very close relationship his blood relatives of course feel the need to do all of this and i find myself so angry because some of them never visited him in hospital once over the last three years, and I know I shouldn't be mad at them cos we all thought we had years and years of Fred ahead of us.... but to be pushed out when I was one of the ones there for him constantly is just so painful.
I keep trying to remind myself that he would want me looking after this baby inside me and all of his grandchildren, but today I think my heart is trying to kill me as I am so sad!
I am so glad to have had him in my life, I don't know how I will ever get through this and I am so very lucky to be married to his son who is obviously devastated at his dad's passing... he was his hero.
It is times like this I wish I could be like my kids, they have this way that they kind of don't understand, or they just accept it all as it is as a fact and that's that.
How do I do this????
XXDianaXX
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