My mother died recently and I have alot of unresolved feelings. The death was very unexpected and I have not yet come to terms with it. I am having terrible dreams which are very disturbing and that's when I can actually sleep at all, which is very rarely. She died a very sad and undignified (for her) death with some bad symptoms of her illness. I often just think of the time in hospital and not any of the good times we had. Is this normal, has anyone had the same thoughts and experience?

I read your message and just wanted to reassure you that your multitude of feelings are totally normal at this dreadful time. It is very early days following the loss of your mum and the lack of sleep and other disturbances are all part of your body and mind attempting to come to terms with what has happened. I have lost both my parents in the last year, my mum died of heart failure unexpectedly and my dad died at Christmas from cancer. The sudden loss of my mum was the hardest to bear and I was haunted for many months by images of her death - she was ill for three weeks and was finally on life support for six hours while my brother and I sat with her. We had many harrowing decisions to make and the guilt for those responsibilities is difficult to bear. However, through the pain of losing my lovely mum I can tell you that a year later things are easier. Losing Dad has brought back many of the terrible feelings Ihad at the time, but let me reassure you that, even though you feel life will never be the same or worth living again, it will. Remember the love you shared and the many happy times and hold on to that fast. The bad memories will eventually give way to nicer ones and your mother will walk beside you again. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

I read your message and identified with everything you said. the worst is that first year. I like u have gone through the whole dying processs over and over again. Like me and my sister cling on to the fact that u were there for your mum right to the end.

I know how you all feel. I lost my mum 4 days ago and I am heart broken. I want her back because there is soo much she should see.
Like me grow up and start a family, my career and pass my exams and loads more stuff.
But in the end we will all get through it, it will be hard and difficult. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel!
Take care all of you, things will lighten up soon xx