i have recently lost my mum and all i keep thinking is why? i just cant understand my it had to be my mum she was only 61 and i always thought we had so much time left together.
I have a 8 yr old son and im trying so hard to be strong for him but i just find it so hard and i cant seem to see any point in anything and i know that is really bad as a mum

Thanks for sharing your pain with us. It was indeed too young to die, and there seems to be no good reason for that. I can only say to you that it will get better, and you will find the strength to get through. You will be a good mum, and don't be afraid to tell people how you feel. it will make you cry, but that will take you forward.I found in my grief that often strangers were able to help me more than people who knew my son and my wife, as often your friends are just as broken hearted as you and don't know what to say. Keep in touch with people on the forum,,,they really can help you. Love,
Derry

Hi Lorraine, as Derry says, this forum does help - it's certainly helping me, they are a lovely bunch of people.

I lost my dad recently too - he was 68 and taken very suddenly, like you, we felt we had been 'robbed' - we had expected so much more time with him. It isn't fair, he was such a good man, but then life isn't fair, we know that.

I was doing ok today, feeling quite positive because when I'd spoken to my mum she told me she was going away for the weekend with a friend and I was really pleased for her - as my son was going to bed, he gave me a hug and said 'It's three months' and I said actually it's 3 months on the 20th and he said 'No, it's 3 months today since we last saw grandad', it just broke my heart to think that he was counting the dates just as I am, it was indeed three months today that we last saw my dad, they came up and we spent the evening together. Less than 48 hours later he was gone.

Lorraine, the only advice I can give is to just share your grief with your son, when my kids want to cry we have a good cry together - nothing worse than the kids bottling it up, so we have a hug and a howl and they do seem better for getting it out of their system, even if only temporarily.

My thoughts are with you.

JW

Hi Lorraine
So very sorry to hear about your Mum she was young. I lost my husband at 49 and that is young and many people lose people even younger but it does not ease the pain and grief you feel.
My Mum is my best friend and I can only guess at how you feel.
Your son will be your strength and with him you will both gain strength. The pain you feel is indescribable but I think you must go on and live your life as best you can and do this for your Mum.
She would want this for you all as she loved you all more than anything and thats all we ever want for those we love, to live and be happy.
Cry when you want do not bottle it up and chat to us on the forum they can all help in their different ways I wish I could give you a big hug but I am thinking of you and sending you all my love.
Things will ease but you will always think of and love your Mum its hard but we can all help you.
Love to you and your son bless you both.
Take care
Love Heather

Lorraine,
I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost your mum. My mum died recently as well amd I know how you're feeling. She was 3 days away from her 72nd birthday but was a really active person and would put me to shame with her energy! I also thought we would have a lot more time together. My dad died when he was 53, 17 years ago. Please don't think you're being a bad mum and you will get through this somehow. This site is excellent for support as we all know what you are going through and you're not alone, even though it may feel like it some days.
Love and best wishes to you, Derry, Mel, JW., Heather and all.
xxx