I thught I was doing so well! Then I just happened to open a card that was sitting on my bedroom shelf. I hadn't looked at it for ages, but when I opened it I found a little note that Pat had left me ages ago, knowing I wqould be late back from a gig.9Probably left under my pillow) It Just said "I love you. Sleep well." and the card had the lyric of Golden Slumbers Kiss Your Eyes, which I'm sure you all know.I can hardly type, I'm crying so much. Well, better get used to these "bangs" because they're going to keep coming.
Sa shame as I had a really good afternoon out with my new lady friend yesterday. she's great, but she's not Pat.
OK, I'm coming round now. Keep on keeping on, everyone, and grateful thanks to you all, especially the newcomers who are just finding out what it's like. It does get better, but, boy, sometimes it also gets worse.
Love to all
Derry

Dear Derry,

My heart goes out to you.

I have been having a bad time just recently too, I am still struggling to come to terms with losing my husband, Steve, last year. There are so many 'if only' and 'what if' going through my mind. I miss him so much and feel totally alone although I know I'm not.
I'm constantly being told that I have to give myself time to heal, each day does get easier but it's accepting how it happened that I have trouble with. Here one minute, gone the next.

Thinking of you all.
Carole

Hi Derry and Carole and all friends
It must be the time of year I had a good cry yesterday I just cannot come to terms with losing my Paul. I wake up each morning and think oh no not another day without him I know its wrong to be thinking like this but I feel so lonely and lost without him.
They say you dont know what you have got until it is gone and then wham it hits you my stepfather is dying also so everything comes to the surface again. It is nearly a year in September since Paul died but he was my soul mate and I cannot imagine the rest of life without him.
He kept me laughing he kept me sane and most of all he gave me a cuddle every day, I shall never get over it but perhaps in time I may get used to it.
Thinking of you all I have a holiday in Greece in August It was like our second home so I am taking some of Pauls ashes to scatter there.
Take care perhaps I shall feel better later.

Love Heather

Dear Heather,
Your Paul sounds just like my husband. He could tell what mood I was in just by looking at me, he was always there to hold me, comfort me, tell me how much he loved me. He always knew the right thing to say at the right time. He was my soulmate too.

I was never one for crying that much before he died, but now any little thing sets me off. A song, a photograph, just anything even a thought of something.

It is so hard trying to adjust to life without him and it is such a comfort to be able to share feelings with you all here as I know you can all understand.

Thinking of you.
Carole