Hello all,

although I don't often post messages, I visit this site often and find it very comforting. From a very selfish point of view, this site reminds me that I have moved on a little since I lost my dad last year (16 months ago), and that things do (sometimes) get a little easier.

I wanted to ask for some advice. At the end of the year I am going travelling for a year, around the world. This is something I have put off and put off all the while my dad was sick, and now the time feels right.

But my big problem is leaving my mother - she's in good health, but I now have the knowledge that a parent can die, and if my dad did, anything can happen. I know this doesn't really make sense - he was sick, she isn't. My boyfriend says I can stay in touch by email, but he doesn't understand the need to be at the end of the phone. A day or two days of not checking email, and it could all be too late...

So, either I need to figure out a way of being in constant contact (losing the freedom of being away?) or I need to let go a little... Advice, anyone?

I also realise that I am so lucky to be in the position to go away, and that this 'problem' is not a problem compared to those of so many of the bereaved people on this site. I guess I just want someone to say 'go for it, it will be fine' .. but maybe it won't be fine, and I am scared of spending the year away worrying, when my boyfriend (happily) doesn't have the same concerns as me.

Thanks for listening and my thoughts are with everyone whose posts I have read lately. xxx

Hi Lara
I just caught your message and it seemed to strike a chord with me.
I lost my husband last year and my two daughters who are 23 and 18 miss their Dad so much.
I was thinking if it was one of my daughters I would say Go for it your Mum will probably be OK we cannot worry what each day could bring. You have to live for the Now the moment.
I am sure your Mum will say the same if she needs you she will call you and as you know anyone of us could go any time but you need to live your life still. See the world while you can you may regret it later. It will be a real achievement for you.
Still in the end the decision is up to you but I am thinking of you and wishing you all the luck in the world for your trip and family.
Stay positive you are very brave to go on this.
Take care

Love Heather

Thanks for the encouraging words.

I do feel in one way that I should go for it, and that part of my worry stems from the anxiety and sleeplessness I have had since losing my dad. It's not necessarily grounded in any real fears or reason to worry.

I guess I'll just have to figure this one out. Apart from spending ridiculous money on a satellite phone so that I can be contactable 24-7, there is no way I can stay in constant contact with my family while I am away. And that's partly the joy of being away, escaping all your worries.

Thanks again x