I can't explain, its so hard.
I feel lost.
I feel like a clocks ticking.
I feel like so much has happened to one person to me, but that theres something else.
That theres something big, worse even out there waiting for me. That its not over and i'm so scared and frightened.

Thanks for telling us this.I can't say I know how you feel, but I have had enough experience of life to know that even the worst things pass, and the only way to deal with this kind of fear (which I have had many times, perhaps not as badly) is to live in the present moment, and say "Am I all right now/" Usually the answer will be "Yes", so what ever you feared hasn't happened yet. Easier said than done, but I found that worked, and then years later I looked back at what I had feared and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Even the loss of my son, 11 years ago, is now a manageable thought, and that helped me to cope with my wife's deatn in April. sorry if this sounds a bit glib, but I honestly believe we can all get through our pain and tribulation if we keep sharing with other people. Please keep on talking to us, and we'll do our level best to help you. You are not alone.
Love, Derry

Hi Daisy,

reading your message really brought me back to last year, March 06, when I lost my dad. Even though he had been sick, it still felt like a bolt from the blue.

I couldn't sleep, had nightmares, and just a sense of impending doom. Also fear for my mother, that she might also leave me. But things are ok, bit by bit.

As Derry said, each minute that I felt okay was important. I have a trick that I do, when I am dreading something - sometimes it is work-related, a presentation I am scared to do, or sometimes it is a funeral or something I don't want to do... I fast-forward in my head and picture myself walking out of that meeting, or that dreaded presentation or event. No matter how afraid I am of something, I can always picture myself on the other side, and this really helps.

Take care of yourself. Lara