This is Sheila's idea from a previous post - I thought it was such a good idea I decided to make a new thread (hope you don't mind Shei).

I know we all have HEAPS of happy memories - but 'off the top of your head' pick one to share....I'll start;

The week before we lost my dad, me and the kids went to spend the day at mum and dads place - Dad was replacing his old garden shed - he did love to potter around and altho the old shed was 'ok'...this was his new project. Anyway, the idea of our visit was for my two boys (age 12) to give grandad a hand in dismantling the old shed. Me and my mum, and my daughter, went off out shopping for a couple of hours and when we came back the three of them were in their element, my boys had had such fun taking a sledgehammer to this old shed - by the time we got back they were dirty, tired, but yes they'd had the best time with grandad!

Millons of happy memories. Strangely enough one of the happiest was when Pat and I sat together waitng for the ambulance to take her to York for what we both knew would be her last trip, and the last time in our own home for the last 42 years. We sat side by side, as the light faded, hardly speaking, but knowing that our love was as strong and true as it had been for all these years. (I am cryng now as I think about it, but it was truly wonderful). I feel so sorry for those of you who lost people suddenly. At least we had a wonderful five or sisx hours of absolute bliss...sad but joyous at the same time. I don't know if I will ever see her again, but if not I have the most wonderful memory of her that day.
I still feel guilty that I wasn't with her when she died, as I came home, being absolutely drained and exhausted, and she passed away in the night. I know she wasn't conscious, but I still wish I had been there to hold her hand. Life can be full of regrets, but we must pick ourselves up and soldier on.
Love
Derry

I have heard many times Derry that your loved ones find it very hard to die when you are near their bed. The amount of people that have told me they where with them 24/7 and had just slipped off for a minute only to find they slipped away during that time.

If your reading this and something like this has happend to you, please tell us about it as I'm sure this happens quite a lot.

Take care Dave

Hi Dave and Derry
This happened to us too. My daughter and I were holding Pauls hand all the time and when he started to bring up blood we were pushed out of the way and told to wait outside. While the doctors were seeing to him he died. So we also were not by his side at the moment he died.
He just had his eyes closed while we were there so u are right loved ones do not want to go while you are actually there, its good u wrote that Dave as I felt guilty too. Thanks for all your wise words.
This board is the best around and everyone understands so well.
Take care and thinking of you all.

Love Heather

Mine and mums birthday is on the same day in April and this year we went to the usual restuarant where we go for our birthday meal. She acted strange this year and when we first walked in the restuarant she turned back around and marched outside. I left my partner and my niece in the restuarant and followed mum outside. She went and sat on a large rock outside, it was a glorious sunny day...I sat besides her
As we sat there mum told me a stories about the times she had with my dad when she was younger....and i am so mad that i cannot remember what she actually told me now....anway after about 15 minutes we went back in the restuarant.

3 weeks later she died...

Maybe she knew she was ill and knew it was the last birthday we would spend together and wanted just time for me and her to sit together.....

Next April i will go and sit on that rock before i go in for my meal, raise my glass of lager, and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! and hope that i can feel her presence besides me.....

Amanda

Glad you feel the sharing of a happy memory is a good idea

well here's mine. I knew my husband did not have long to live although we never discussed this. Barbra Streisand was appearing live in London and I purchased tickets to see her. Cost an arm and a leg but that didnt matter. Anyway I told Mick two days before we went - his reaction was amazing. He was gob-smacked! and so excited to be going. On the morning we went he even got himself out of the shower on his own - what motivation.

I had also purchased a mobility vehicle which was delivered the day before - now known as a Mick Mobile!

So off we went to London, in his new MickMobile, myself, Mick and a carer (plus Tom Tom). We had an amazing time - Mick was so enthralled - he passed away 4 weeks later. I am so pleased I managed to arrange this. The only way I could afford it was my step dad had passed away in June and left me a little money - this paid for the tickets and the Mick Mobile - my step dad would have been so pleased he was able to help.

My sons and I were very fortunate to have my husband in our arms when he passed away, at home - we had got him out of hospital only 6 hours previously - what an act of kindness to us all after many years of grieving and watching a very proud and strong man become more and more ill and disabled.

During his last two weeks spent in hospital my sons became even closer to their Dad and had a very much hands on approach in caring for him - this has left them with good memories and a nice feeling. We gave him a good old send off and finished off with a Jazz Band to send him on his way!

Again mick got up to lots of trouble during his illness - he never gave up. One of the memories was waking up on the settee one Saturday afternoon to find him on the garage roof putting up our christmas penguin! The neighbour opposite was at the bottom of the ladder looking very conerned. Apparently he had said to Mick "does Sheila know you are up there"? to which he replied "no she's indoors asleep"!!!

Another time I needed something from the loft and I dont "do" ladders. I went to the bathroom and when I came out Mick was up the ladder in the loft - unfortunately he could then not get down! I had to phone our youngest son and tell him his father was stuck in the loft and could he come and get him down! ~He was a terror but we laugh over these happy memories

Let us know yours


Sheila

insomniac!

Hi all
My happiest memory is my 25th wedding anniversary in Zante Greece in 2002.
We went down to our friends taverna in Tsilivi all our friends and family were with us on holiday and Paul looked a million dollars.
We took a horse and cart down to the party so romantic and when we arrived there the whole place was decked out in balloons and confetti and a huge banner.
My daughters bless them Emma and Lisa had decorated it for us.
We danced to Motown hits and our favourite songs all night all captured on video. I cry when I think of this evening and my darling caring most kind man in the world my Paul. He was and always will be the man I want to spend the rest of eternity with. I love him with all my heart.
One day.....

Thinking of u all
Love Heather

Hi all,

To choose a happy memory from all of them is a task indeed but as I sit here reading all of the above I look down to my mouse matt to see Bob's smiling face looking straight at me. Its from a photo I took of him on a fantastic trip we had to Switzerland in July 2005, three months before his diagnosis. He is in his trendy walking gear with a silly hat but the most spectaclar back ground you can only imagine you would find in Switzerland, green trees, huge mountains and blue skys. We had some of our best "holiday moments" during that 2 weeks, especially good considering when we had gone through a rocky patch just before (no need to go into detail expect to say I am so glad we sorted them out). God I miss him.

Philomena x

My happiest memory with my mum has to be our last shopping trip whilst on holiday, really girly day out, she laughed so much that day it took her 3 days to recover !. she had epilepsy and had a fit, broke her nose, we have a pic of her an i hugging, she has these enormous sun glasses on lol.
My mum was so beautiful, we were often mistaken for sisters, her illnesses made it hard for her to get out and about.
It's been 5 weeks since her passing and it is unbelievably hard, i miss her so much, not only did i lose a mum, but my best friend. we were so close, sorry about babbling lol x

I posted about this memory back in june....

"Its weird how a smell can set your senses swirling and your memories flooding back.

I was comimg home from work the other day and all of a sudden the smell of freshly cut grass surrounded me, i was sent straight back to being in the garden at my old house, my mum on her knees pulling up weeds and wearing her big sunglasses! Me attempting to help, calling from the window did she want a cup of tea.

I cant help but feel sad when i remember the past and how it use to be - wishing it could all go back to the way it was.
But this time it was diferent. I didnt feel sad - its such a strange feeling, but i was happy. I enjoyed the memory, and wanted to share this with everyone.

Its odd but in the past few days since - i've wished i could smell it again and wonder if it will have the same effect. Its like a drug - i liked the feeling and wish i knew how i to get it back.

Its just such a strange and confusing feeling, i feel quite spaced out by it."

Dave... my grandad too had an experience like that when my granma pasted away, he sat at home by her bed side (the doctor had said she didn't have long left) all day and night and the next day in the morning when for the first time he'd fell asleep for 5 mins and when he woke she was gone. He was cut up about it, but it was like she waited for him to fall asleep.

God i miss them all so much.