Our son died 10 weeks ago aged 24, he suffered from an aggressive form of Leukemia. We are broken hearted - I struggle every day with the fact I was his mum why couldnt I 'make this better?' thats what mums do.

Some days you have the feeling may be today he'll come home - every sound - 'oh its Carl'.

They say time makes it easier-does it ?

This must be the worst thing that can happen to anyone. I won't say I know how you feel 'cos I don't but I know that when our son Gwyn died suddenly, in his sleep, at 33 years of age,without any warning or previous illness it was utterly devastating. However, I can honestly say that 11 years later, I can write and talk about the event without crying. I think it took me ten years to get over it, and then of course I had my wife's illness and death to give me other things to work on. Believe me, it will get better, but not for a Hell of a long time, I'm afraid. So, do what you can. share the grief with anyone who will listen, and strangers are often better than friends in this case, as friends can't handle it, and don't know what to say. I know you will cry, and that is the best thing you can do. I staggered about the Stray here in Harrogate, screamong and bawling where no one could see or hear me. Please keep in touch with us all here, and we will do our best to help. Write to me direct if you want as I will always be pleased to try to help.
Love, Derry

oh sue i am so sorry about your sad loss. cant imagine what it must feel like it is not right a mother should lose her son.

life seems to be so cruel and there just aren't any answers, nothingyou can do except grieve.

none of us can make it better - totally out of our control - thats the frustrating and so unfair part

i know what you mean about waiting for them to come home - my husband died 5 weeks ago seems longer - still feels unreal - so quiet and lonely without him

share your feelings on this forum - it does help and hopefully the not so bad times will become longer

take care and try to remember the good times you had with him

do you have other family close by?

luv sheila x

thanks Sheila & Derry for your messages.
today is a better day than yesterday...reading the other mesages brings the realty that we are not on own.
My eldest son ran the Great North Run last week for Carl and raise £1000 - thing like that help.
Someone wrote in a card to us - the coming to terms of losing someone close is like having a disability you will learn to live with it. (you never want to forget them, or want to)
Maybe one day the unfairness will become clearer?
Sue