Thankls to reveryone who has written in recently, and I have to say it is amazing how people are able to share their feelings here. I wish I could offer consolation but sometimes I just don't know what to say.
Today would have been Pat's 74th birthday, and it is hard for me to remember that last year at this time she managed to struggle out and meet 12 of her friends for a lunch to celebrate what we both knew would be her last birthday. How suddenly life can change, and how much we have to learn, often so quickly! I am bearing up now better than I ever though possible, but the memories are very sad. However, I have made a decision which may help...as life is said to be a river...from now on I am going to stop trying to push against the current, and try to drift downstream for a while. In other words to stop beating myself up over things that I have or haven't done.Maybe it'll work! Anyway, I'll try to get through today. Take care, all of you, but especially those of you who are more recently bereaved. It does get better, honestly.
Love
Derry

Hi Derry I'm new to this website but I have been reading your messages. I'm sorry that you have had a bad day. I heard a saying the other day I thought I would share with you 'Grief is the price we pay for loving someone' and it is so true. The only thing i can say is think of what Pat would have wanted you to do on her birthday, probably celebrate, because she lived and shared the journey with you and I'm sure she is still with you, you just can't hold her the way you used to and I know that is hard. Life can be so cruel and isin't it funny how when someone you love dies you punish yourself ever questioning, wondering, the what if's and if only, I know because I do it all the time. I hope Derry that your descision to go with the flow will bring peace and happiness, its got to be better than beating yourself up over things! Take care.

Derry,
Thinking of you on what must be a difficult day for you.
Today was also my dad's birthday. He would've been 71 but passsed away when he was 53.
Love to you and everyone on here.
Louise x