I thought hard before I put this poem on here, (actually it's now a song that I co wrote) about my son. For years I couldn't bear to read it or hear it, but after 11 years I can now face the pain it showed. I think the last two lines say it all. They are there somewhere, and we will meet again, in a perfect situation untroubled by earthly pains and stress. Hope it doesn't hit anyone too hard.

HE’S NOT HERE ANYMORE.

A touch on the shoulder,
A kind word or two,
They mean so well,
But that’s all they can do.
They think it gets better
Now seasons have passed,
But they’ll never know
How long it can last.

He’s not here any more,
Slamming the door,
Making a mess
All over the floor,
Driving us crazy
With music we hated
That ended so soon,
Unanticipated.
Is it days?
Is it years?
Tough to keep score.
One thing is sure,
He’s not here anymore

We thought we’d learned
To put on a face,
Try and get back
And join in the race,
Fooling most everyone.
How can they tell
That we’re going through
A particular Hell?





He’s not here anymore
With his gadgets and toys,
Doing his homework
Surrounded by noise.
That dreadful girl
He said was his friend
Who turned out so good
Right at the end..
Is it days?
Is it years?
We’re losing the score...
One thing is sure
He’s not here anymore.




The cruellest pain
We should have been spared
Is knowing that sorrow’s
Not halved when it’s shared.
We’ve never gone through
Out troubles alone
But this is a pain
We bear on our own.

He’s not here anymore
They’d have us believe,
And yet I feel sure
If he saw us grieve
He’s reach out a hand
To comfort our fear
And deep in the silence
I know that he’s here.
Maybe days?
Maybe years?
Whatever’s in store
I’m no longer sure
He’s not here anymore.

Love ,
Derry

Derry this is beautiful and really poignant. I really understand the part aobut bearing the pain alone, even while surrounded by people who cared for him as much as you. When my sister died I was automatically looking to my parents for support and semi-wondering why they were not helping me, but of course they had their own pain to deal with. it is a lonely burden because the only people that can truly understand are struggling with their own grief.
Eleanor x