It's coming up for 2 years in February since I lost my husband very suddenly and unexpectedly. Yet to me it was like yesterday.
I am still grieving, I am finding it so hard to move on with my life.
My family think I should 'pull myself together'...but how?

Not only did I lose my wonderful husband, I then lost my job as I couldn't cope. My life is nothing now. I am in debt through not finding work again, things are just getting worse and worse. I can't see an end to this.

My two sons are the only things that are keeping me going at the moment, but it won't be much longer before they will want to move on.

I can't bear the thought of being on my own, I hate it.

I want my husband back so he can give me a hug.

I haven't posted on this board for quite some time now, but always read the messages.
My heart goes out to each and every one of you.

Take care
Carole

sS sorry to hear of your distress. YOu know that no one can pull you through except yourself, in the long run, but I feel sure that with a little help from your friends on here things will get better. I do hope your sons carry on supporting you,(I know my daughter has been great, and seems prepared to put up with me), but even if they don't, I feel the fact that you have been able to share your feelings with us menan that you are still able to function, and develope a positive attitude...slight at present, but I feel sure it will get better. Forgive my feeble attempts at cheering you up, but they are sincerely well meant. Please keep in touch with us, and believe me when I tell you that my own experience has convinced me that things ewill improve, for certain.
Love,
Derry

I lost my husband in a car crash just over 2 years ago. I know how hard it is to try to rebuild your life when the centre of your world is torn away. I've tried to fill the void by voluntary work, doing classes etc but it still feels like I'm just existing rather than living my life.

There are no quick fixes for grief. All you can do is try to address any other issues in your life that are problematic. Perhaps if you can take some steps to sort out your debt situation it will help you feel more positive. The Citizen's advice bureau is very helpful in advising on debt so may be worth a try.

I have never posted a message but fully understand how you are feeling! My husband had a cardiac arrest and died in front of me in our living room almost 18 months ago now and it still feels like yesterday! I am a qualified nurse and despite all mine and the paramedics efforts he just wouldn't come back. He was only 42 years of age, had no illness (or so we thought), didnt smoke and yet died, I feel so cheated!

Telling my 2 children aged 18 and almost 20 at the time their dad had died was almost as bad as watching him just collapse and die! We had been together for 25 years and married for 22, he was my best friend! I'm living alone now and thought I'd never cope but you just do don't you? My daughters A level results came out 2 weeks after her dad died and it was so hard encouraging her to continue with her dreams and go to university, when inwardly I just wanted her to stay with me! But I did the right thing and she's making both me and her dad so proud!

My son has bought his own propertywith his girlfriend and they live very near me, but have their own life, so I have gone from being the happiest family of 4 alive, to being on my own (although my 2 wonderful doggies help me lots).

I must say I just live as if my wonderful husband is still here really. I talk to him all the time, especially in the bedroom, but it is so lonely and I would do anything for a hug, or a chance to have said goodbye! Life doesn't feel fair at the moment, but I'm carrying on! My children still need me and it can only get better with time (I hope).

Hi Debbie, Derry and Pat,

Thank you so much for your comments, they mean a lot to me.
I don't feel so alone anymore.

I just wish I knew what words of comfort I could say to you to help, except that I understand all the emotions and you are in my thoughts.

Carole

Dear Carole and everyone else on here.
Just to let you know I'm thinking of you all and am so sorry you're suffering. I do understand a bit of how you feel as I lost my mum almost 9 months ago and find it difficult to deal with a lot of the time.
Please keep posting, and as I have said before, you're not completely alone. This forum has helped me enormously and I hope it will help you, too.
Love,
Louise x

Hello Carole

I would definately second the recommendation to talk to the citizens advice bureau regarding any debt issues as you'll feel so much better when you know you're sorting this out. They're much better to talk to than any commercial loan companies who are very shady.

What about looking for another job that you might enjoy? It's amazingly helpful to be busy during the day.

good luck
Miriam
x

Hi Miriam,

I have got advice for the debt problem, am desperately trying to sort things out now.

I have been looking for work for over a year now but it's just rejection after rejection. I know my confidence is at an all time low, but I am trying so hard.

I know it would help me to get back to work and I won't give up.

It's 2 years today since I lost my husband, so it's not a good day at all for me. I can't believe how I got through the last 2 years, it still seems like only yesterday.

But if I have the strength to get this far, and to be honest there were times when I never thought I would, then I know I have the strength to carry on. I will get a job and I will move on!

I still miss Steve so much it hurts, but I know he is here with me every step of the way.

Take care
Carole xx

Hi Carole

I'm sure today wasn't easy for you. It sounds as though you've really been getting yourself sorted with finding a job etc. I'm sure your Steve would be really proud of you.

Good luck, keep at it and stay in touch with us all on here

XX
Miriam