Do you think there is such a thing as dying from a broken heart, after 62 years of marriage, my dad is (84) is having a VERY hard time, he just wants go & join Mum (passed away 7wks ago).
Do your think the mind is powerful enough & this can truly happen?
Michelle
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Yes, I think someone can die of a broken heart. I believe my son did, after several years of failure in work, and then marrying the wrong person. He lost hope. the cause of death was given as "heart disease" but I feel sure it wasa a broken heart. I sometimes fell that I would like to give up and die in the hope that I might rejoin |Pat, but usually I get over it, and realise that life is worthn living. But I am only 72 and I have a 10 year plan to become a super star folk singer! Mayve at 84 I would feel like giving up, though I hope not. I'll see Pat again when the time is right, I believe.
Love,
Derry
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Thank you for your responses, I would like Dad to be out of the emotional pain he is suffering, but I want it to be time that see's him through, not death.
But in my heart I know he can't keep going on like this.
Thank you all!!
Michelle
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yes I really believe that after being married for so long it is extremly hard to be left behind. I do belive that if someone really doesn't wanna go one any longer it is possible by the power of the mind to actually die.
There are reports about monks in Tibet who sat down to die and just stopped their heart by the power of their mind.
Well in your Dads case I think he just wants to get back to your Mom. It is not that he doesn't wanna life he wants to be with his wife. The mind sure is strong enough but there is also a big struggle because seeking the company of your Mom gives you grief again. I hope the best for him eitehr way he chooses.
J.
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I just want to say what I feel about your Father and lost Mother.
They had so many lovely wonderful years together bless them both, which is no conciliation I know. So many memories and years I cannot imagine. Your Mum is simply fast asleep safe and sound and if it is meant to be that Dad needs to sleep, then you must accept this with all the help we can give you on this forum.
Sometimes I believe that happiness is to fall to sleep when there is no other solution and not to be in pain. In you Mum and Dad's case, to be together, what finer way of thinking.
I know we are the long-term sufferers in all our loss's, but we must understand this, it is our loved one's that are no longer suffering, believe this and it will help you on your way.
I would long and give anything to have my Pamela back with me, but I know she wouldn't be able to cope with any decent quality of life if she was here with me. I believe my Pamela is more at ease fast asleep.
At the age of 54 yrs I have some years ahead hopefully, but still await the day to be re-united with her, I'm sure your Dad feels the same.
Try not to feel bad Michelle in thinking this way, but look upon it as joining Mum and Dad together, once again, in a much more painless way.
My thoughts are with you and your family
Sincerely
John
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It is possible, my friends mother gave up and died about 4 weeks after her husband. Although she did have an illness. I just want to give your dad a huge hug.
There is no answer to grief as we are all unique and so are the situations in which are loved ones died. But the one thing we all have in common is the fact that someone who was very special in our life has died. What has helped me, is friends and family showing me the reasons for me to carry on living. Also having a purpose as well: ie: doing something for somebody else, be it small or large. Animals do tend to be a great comfort, as they are dependant on you. You have to get up in the morning to feed them; walk them etc. Whilst this may not be feasible for your father, but I am sure that there is something that that will help him to realise that he is needed and loved very much by those around him.
Hug him lots, (i know that is one thing I miss very much and enjoy very much when I do get one now and then!)
Kris
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I'm so sorry to hear about you mum. It takes a long time to get over a bereavement and your dad must still be in the early stages (as are you) I know people have posted messages saying that ok in theory you can die of a broken heart, in reality people are surprisingly resiliant and can recover.
Although we never really get over someone, we can learn to live with the grief. (my dad said that to me after mum died)
Hopefully in time your dad will gradually feel more posisitive, but have patience. Everyone grieves differently so if he wants to cry then thats ok. If things get really tough for anyone the Samaritans are great to talk to at any time. Different people get release from different things. Maybe things like a good home cooked roast dinner or visits from young relatives would be things your dad would enjoy.
Let us know how you're getting on anyway. I'm sure you caring about him and being with him is very important to him and he's grateful.
Take care
Miriam
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