My dearest husband Terry became ill with Oesophogus cancer in may 2006, just 6 weeks after my dad had passed away with the same complaint.
He survived major surgery later in the year and we hoped that the cancer had gone. $ weeks later they told us that it was in the lymph nodes and would return.
#we had a year, a wonderful year where terry seemed well again, we were srating to relax when we discovered a lump in his neck.
It was back and terminal.
We were devastated, Terry was my everything and I couldnt contemplate life without him.
He never gave up, began chemotherapy to prolong survival. we tried to stay positive when he was admitted to hospital, sure they would stabalize him and he would come home.
When i got the phone call just an hour after I had spoken to him I thought they had phoned the wrong person.
I have an ache inside thats worse than pain, its 4 months now and there is never a second that he is'nt in my thoughts. I miss him so much.
Terry was the kindest man you could meet, he was so brave and I am so proud of him. I will never get used to not having him, he was my soul mate, the love of my life.
I have always believed in heaven, some days now I am not so sure what I believe in anymore.
Please God let it all be true, let Terry be somewhere, free from pain and waiting for me, I couldnt go on if i thought i would never be with him again.

Hi

I am so dreadfully sorry for you at the moment at the loss of your dear husband. I can understand how you feel because I lost my beloved sister 8 weeks ago. She was my soulmate also. We lived together all our lives (64 years) went on holiday together, shopped together, went out for meals together and generally where one of us was the other was to be found also. So I do understand your dreadful loneliness. Are you living on your own now? That is very, very difficult. I am on my own and find it appalling. People say time heals, and I know it does but I wish I was about 10 years down the road from this and away from the rawness of the pain. The only thing is I do believe in God and I do believe that when I die Sheila will be standing there with her beautiful smile waiting for me. You HAVE to believe that, otherwise there is no point in anything. I went to an Angel Card reader the other night. I told her about Sheila and she told me she wasn't a psychic or medium and could not see spirits. At the end of the reading she described Sheila to a T - even to wearing a suit I had been thinking about the previous evening - and told me she was standing right beside me. It made me cry more but I was so delighted. Another thing is a line I read in a "Letter from Heaven" where it says "But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth's no more, I am closer to you now than I ever was before." I have to believe that otherwise I would go mad with the pain of her loss.

If I can help you in anyway or if you would like to email me again please do.

Audrey

Hi Mo - I'm not sure if you are the same Mo Bullimore that i knew many years ago from the 'Cherry Tree' - but there seems to be a lot of coincidences but even if you are not the same one i'm thinking of my condolences go out to you - like you i lost my husband 3 weeks ago to cancer - his was caused by asbestos - this is the second time round for me - my first husband died from a heart attack 6 years ago - things will get easier for you i assure you - though i'm sure at the moment it's very hard to believe - your love for terry will never die - hang on to all the good memories

take care

lynn