My mother and I have just returned from a 4 day break, which I organised, after my father left her after 38 years of marriage. Obviously she was completely devastated and still is. On our return we we were driven straight to the hospital after my granda (mam's father) had suffered a massive stroke and is not going to make it. To make matter's worse she is also in bad health and is to undergo exploratory surgery to determine whether she has stomach cancer. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't. What can I do to help? She is at rock bottom. I would love to move back with her but I am 34 and married. I don't know how she is going to cope when he does pass away. Somebody please please help. I don't know where to turn.

Sometimes life is very cruel and seems to deal many awful hands at once. Your Mum is clearly having the worst time imaginable and that in turn must be so painful for you to watch. I don't know how receptive your Mum would be to counselling but for many people talking through these things does help. I am awaiting counselling at the moment for my bereavement and I'm assured by a friend who's already been that they are excellent - I do hope so. The cliche about time being the greatest healer is used so much but I am hanging on to the idea that it must be true. You Mum must be at such a low with both these things that life has to improve for her although it won't seem possible right now.
I'm sure that your Mum and you will get through this with each other's help. Stay strong for each other and do keep posting here because there are many people who really can relate to your feelings and your Mum's.

Thinking of you and come back whenever to want to, Ali x