I lost my pecious partner in a motorbike accident last october - he simply went out and I never saw him alive again. I never had the chance to say goodbye or hold him or to tell him much we love him. Eight months have gone by and not 5 minutes go by without thinking of him and loving him and just wanting him to come home. I still can't believe he has gone. Can someone tell me if I will feel like this for ever. I feel like I have been torn in two and that I don't live anymore -just exist from day to day.

Hi - I was bereaved 6 weeks ago under totally different circumstances but also wonder how life can ever get better with the feelings that haunt me so intensely each day. I'm so sorry that your loss happened in such a sudden, shocking way but I'm sure he knew that you all loved him and you needn't worry that you didn't say it.
Take care, Ali

please read i hope it helps

I know exactly how you feel my brother died 8 months ago he was 37. some days i go to work and wonder how i got through the day. I havnt felt like me since he died its like a part of me died with him . I hope you can find the strength to get through this terrible time and start to feel like you again, what helps me is to remember the good times and his smiling face that makes me smile.Hope this makes you feel a little better small steps thats my phylosiphy now .x sue.

Hi Heather,
I found this site today & when I read your post it made me cry as it was like reading my feelings written down. My beloved husband passed away in March, I did know it was going to happen but only 3 weeks before. I often think should I have told him I loved him more than I did, but I told him all the time. We were so close & did everything together & now I'm alone. Like you I feel cut in half so lost & all alone. My children are grown up with their own familes and are brilliant, but no-one knows how I feel. Unfortunateley only people who have been through it know.

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this it must be horrific for you. I hope it helps you a little to know that what your going through is normal for someone bereaved. I sometimes felt I was going mad but reading posts on other sites & this one tells me otherwise. Thank you for telling me that I am not alone there are others who know were I'm at. I hope we can find relief from our grief somehow.

Take care
Jo.

Heather,
I feel for you. I lost my wife 11 days ago. She passed away never recovering from a coma after the operation. I read and talked to her for 10 days and eventually held her hand and and watched the life ebb out of her over 6 hours.

Whether it is a sudden loss like yours or a drawn out one such as mine. Despite all the guilt for not making the most out of life. I know that my wife knows I love her just as your partner does.

What to do now, I'm at a loss. I just wanted you to know that you were'nt the only one lost in grief. My thoughts go to you and all those that struggle on a daily basis

Boris

I have not looked at this site for a while, but on returning I am so saddened by the raw pain that is always revealed and seems to go on and on. I know about this, as some of you know from my past postings..the sudden unexpected death of our son, and the long drawn out pain and final death of my beloved wife. However, and please forgive me for saying this again, I know...that the pain will ease in time. It will never go but it is possible to go on with life. Sharing on here is a great help, as is sharing with anyone else who will listen. My own feeling is that much of the pain is caused by shock, even if the death was expected, and that this shock will ease in time.
Also on a different topic, I have realised that the person I loved never really died. That is not based on any "religious" belief, but simply my knowledge that the the person I loved was not just flesh and blood but the spirit that was reflected by her body. The body has gone, but the spirit is still with me..it hurts terribly that I can't hold her and laugh with her as I did when she was alive, but I do know that we were one person in so many ways and she is only separate from me now in the short term. It is said that we are all members of one another , and I do believe that. this has helped me in my dealings with people who say crass things to me about death and bereavement, because I know that unless you have been through it you can't understand.
We are all heading in the same direction, and I honestly believe that there really is no death..our spirit lives on in some way, and we will certainly rejoin our loved ones , and in fact I don't think we are really separated from them even now.
Please keep on living, and using the pain you have suffered to go outward and help others who are going through the pain...that will certainly help you, as it has certainly helped me.
Keep on keeping on.
Love, Derry

Dear Heather,


I have just lost my son, posted here.

Somehow we Must recover.

I can't say more than thst so far, my loss was 2 weeks ago yesterday. I too am asking, how long does it take to feel at least a bit better.

Do we find comfort in those who are suffering the same? I hope so.

I am thinking of you too.

Dave.