Sorry I haven't been on here for a while, but I have been away, on a trip to visit some of the places my new friend used to frequent with her late husband. It was very moving for her, and reminded me that even after 23 years the memory of a loved one doesn't disappear. also, I have been visiting two friends who lost their husbands within the last two months. I don't pretend to be anything special as a comforter, but I have found it is really good for me to try to help people who are going through the same pain that I underwent on the death of my son, and the drawn out agony of the death of my beloved wife. I think it helps a great deal if we can look outward... not easy in the early days, but given time things do get better. I know that for certain, so I say to all those who have just come on board here...hang on in..it will get better.Never right, but better than it is now. I think that the worst part is the shock, even if the death was expected and prepared for, but shock will subside after a while. There are all sorts of theories as to what happens after death, but I believe that as the thing we love about our lost people was the spirit that moved them, rather than the outward body, that spirit doesn't die, but goes onward..perhaps ahead of us, and my hope is that we will meet again, not in the old bodies which have now gone forever, but in a spiritual way. No proof, but the longer I live, and the nearer to death I get, the more I believe it to be true. If it's not, well , again , no problem, as we will all find out one day, and the main thing is that our loved ones are out of the suffering of this world. That's hard to accept in the case of a young person's death, but I know from my experience of surviving the death of my son, supposedly the worst thing that can happen, that it is possible to go on with life again. Took a long time, but it did happen.
All I can say, is keep on keeping on, sharing your pain with us, and you will get through.
Love, Derry
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