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Chicago Humor

November 19 2007 at 6:33 PM

  (Login CatTind)
Member

CHICAGO SLANG
 
1. Grachki (grach'-key): Chicagoese for "garage key" as in, "Yo, Theresa, waja do wit da grachki? Howmy supposta cut da grass if I don't git intada grach?"
 
2. Sammich: Chicagoese for sandwich. When made with sausage, it's a sassage sammich; when made with shredded beef, it's an Italian Beef sammich, a local delicacy consisting of piles of spicy meat in a perilously soggy bun.
 
3. Da: This article is a key part of Chicago speech, as in "Da Bears" or "Da Mare" -- the latter denoting Richard M. Daley, or Richie, as he's often called.
 
4. Jewels: Not family heirlooms or a tender body region, but a popular name for one of the region's dominant grocery store chains. "I'm goin' to the Jewels to pick up some sassage."
 
5. Field's: Marshall Field, a prominent Chicago department store. Also Carson Pirie Scott, another major department store chain, is simply called "Carson 's."
 
6. Tree: The number between two and four. "We were lucky dat we only got tree inches of snow da udder night."
 
7. Over by dere: Translates to "over by there," a way of emphasizing a site presumed familiar to the listener. As in, "I got the sassage at the Jewels down on Kedzie, over by dere."
 
8. Kaminski Park : The mispronounced name of the ballpark where the Chicago White Sox (da Sox) play baseball. Comiskey Park was renamed U.S. Cellular Field (da Cell)
 
9. Frunchroom: As in, "Get outta da frunchroom wit dose muddy shoes." It's not the "parlor." It's not the "living room." In the land of the bungalow, it's the "frunchroom," a named derived, linguists believe, from "front room."
 
10. Use: Not the verb, but the plural pronoun 'you!' "Where use goin'?"
 
11. Downtown: Anywhere near The Lake, south of The Zoo (Lincoln Park Zoo) and north of Soldier Field.
 
12. The Lake : Lake Michigan . (What other lake is there?) It's often used by local weathermen, "cooler by The Lake."
 
14. Braht: Short for Bratwurst. "Gimme a braht wit kraut."
 
15. Goes: Past or present tense of the verb "say." For example, "Den he goes, 'I like this place'!"
 
16. Guys: Used when addressing two or more people, regardless of each individual's gender.
 
17. Pop: A soft drink. Don't say "soda" in this town. "Do ya wanna canna pop?"
 
18. Sliders: Nickname for hamburgers from White Castle , a popular Midwestern burger chain. "Dose sliders I had last night gave me da runs."
 
19. The Taste: The Taste of Chicago Festival, a huge extravaganza in Grant Park featuring samples of Chicagoland cuisine which takes place each year around the Fourth of July holiday.
 
20. "Jeetyet?": Translates to, "Did you eat yet?"
 
21. Winter and Construction: Punch line to the joke, "What are the two seasons in Chicago ?"
 
22. Cuppa Too-Tree: is Chicagoese for "a couple, two, three" which really means "a few." For example, "Hey Mike, dere any beerz left in da cooler over by dere?"
 
"Yeh, a cuppa too-tree."
 
23. 588-2300: Everyone in Chicago knows this commercial jingle and the carpet company you'll get if you call that number -- Empire!
 
24. Junk Dror: You will usually find the 'junk drawer' in the kitchen filled to the brim with miscellaneous, but very important, junk.
 
25. Southern Illinois : Anything south of I-80. This is where Smothers' is from....
 
26. Expressways: The Interstates in the immediate Chicagoland area are usually known just by their 'name' and not their Interstate number: the Dan Ryan ("da Ryan"), the Stevenson, the Kennedy (da "Kennedy"), the Eisenhower (da "Ike"), and the Edens (just "Edens" but Da Edens" is acceptable).
 
27. Gym Shoes: The rest of the country may refer to them as sneakers or running shoes but Chicagoans will always call them gym shoes!
 
This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Chicago ..
 
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago .
 
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago .
 
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago .
 
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago . AUGIE!!!!
 
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago .
 
If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago ..
 
If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago .
 
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago ..
 
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago .
 
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago .
 
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago .
 
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago ..
 
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago .
 
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago .
 
If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Chicago ..
 
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Chicago friends & others, you live or have lived in Chicago

 
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AuthorReply
Ami
(Login Amistandingstill)
Healing Moderator

Re: Chicago Humor

November 20 2007, 9:58 AM 

Chris,

Just 2 things.

Jewel is not plural

and

Fields is now Macy's I really don't think anyone has accepted this one yet.

Other than that right on.

Ami


 
 


(Login CatTind)
Member

Jewels is not plural

November 20 2007, 7:20 PM 

have you listened closely to someone who has lived nowhere but the Chi area?  They do say "Jewels"

As for Fields, I am still mourning that one and don't know that I will ever accept it.

 


 
 

fairyfriend
(Login fairyfriend)
Member

humor

November 20 2007, 11:32 PM 

HEY! Our DQ is STILL open! (The owners usually close it right after Thanksgiving and when it reopens in March, we all know that spring is here!)

We are north of Chicago, south of WI, and we say Jewel, but not being a Chicago native, I can't vouch for how they say it.

ff


    
This message has been edited by fairyfriend on Nov 20, 2007 11:33 PM


 
 
Ami
(Login Amistandingstill)
Healing Moderator

Re: Chicago Humor

November 21 2007, 6:30 AM 

Chris,

. Maybe it is a south sider thing, No one I know on the North side says Jewels, including myself. LOL and I was born and raised in Chi town.

As to DQ, I didn't catch that one, but the ones by me stay open year round. Always have.

Still, I enjoyed reading this, gave it to my Dad, and he had a chuckle too.

Ami


 
 

JJ
(Login fivefoottwo)
Member

Re: Chicago Humor

November 22 2007, 6:51 PM 

So maybe there are midwest traditions...but...

Now that we have moved from the East Coast to the Midwest...the first time a clerk asked my if I wanted my "ticket" in my "sack" I thought I had entered another country!!!!

My WHAT? Ticket in my Sack??????

LOL! I LOVE the midwest!!!!

 
 

BlueIris
(Login BlueIris22)
Member

Re: Chicago Humor

November 23 2007, 12:47 PM 

I lived in the midwest as a kid and teen. When we first moved there and I went to the new grade school, I got thirsty at some point during the day and asked somebody where the water fountain was. They looked at me like I was nuts and then said, "Oh! You mean the 'bubbler'! (A water fountain evidently is only the decorative outdoor item that splashes water up into the air.) My bad! BlueIris

"We cannot wait for the storm to pass; we must learn to walk in the rain."

 
 
Anonymous
(Login deedeemommy)
Member

Re: Chicago Humor

November 30 2007, 11:24 AM 

OH my goodness...I can NOT stop laughing!!!

Yes, Ami and all...pluralizing stores is from the south side. My Aunt used to say 'Jewel's' I need to go to 'KMarts' or 'WalMarts'....always plural.
Every one of those is right on for the south side. Our local ice cream place closes from October to March - always sad!
I especially loved these:

"If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago ..

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago . "

They are SO true!!! There is a road out here that we can't wait for it to get packed with snow so it's smoother!

Great ones!!!


Denise

"Our lives begin to end when we become silent about things"

 
 
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